If I Ain't Got You

2006-09-02T21:32:00.000+08:00

Popcorn

Little Man-funny but the thought that an adult was being treated as a baby , being kissed and cooed was just disgusting!

Snakes On A Plane- I knew it! It really wasn't difficult to know where the movie was going....why the snakes were acting up and all. In fact, as far as I remember, it was already mentioned earlier on in the movie.

Aquamarine- I didn't know that mermaids are like mood rings, their hair and nails change color with their moods and emotions. That's how Aquamarine was in the movie. She could also grant wishes in exchange of favors. And her little starfish earrings could talk and give compliments. Lol!

Superman Returns- It was okay but I didn't feel the fascination I had as a kid watching those old Superman movies. Maybe if in the flying scene of LOis and Superman they played Can You Read My MInd, I would have felt the fascination again. lol! But one thing I liked about the movie was when LOis Lane said who hasn't fallen in love with Superman or something like that. It was a question but it really was more of a statement that didn't need to be answered. It was a confirmation of how Superman really sweeps everyone off their feet. In LOis Lane's kiss, sometimes literally.

Click- It is a good movie and its not justa comedy or gag movie meant to entertaion you while you munch on your chips or while you stuff popcorn in your muth. It can actually make you think and perhaps cry. Just check it out. It will be worth it.

2006-09-02T01:51:00.000+08:00

I am still online. Really missed just surfing and all! And this blog seriously needs attention. I magine, I just had to switch to my old template coz I really have not fixed this in a while. Anyway, have done my job-related research but I am not that satisfied with it. If you have ever been to Australia ( or is an expert on the place and its people) , feel free to give me ideas on where to go, what to do, and the estimate cost. I prefer places that are in the same State ( aba demanding pa. lol!)
Just post in the comment box if you have something to share. It would be greatly appreciated. Mwah! :D

2006-09-01T22:40:00.000+08:00

First off, I just wanna say I should be doing some work-related stuff right now but it has been so long that I last updated my blog that I just have to log in. I actually have a lot of things lined up for posting here in my blog except that my notebook is downstairs in my room. Will get it later if it is still quite early after I am done with my assignment.

So anyway, do you watch America's Next Top Model? If you don't, here are some pictures to acquaint you with the women of Cycle 4. I like watching that show coz it is fun ( and okay I admit I am frustrated model...lol!) I think it would be better if it would be called America's Next Famous Model or something coz the winners won't necessarily become top models, right?

America's 7 Deadly Sins

... as depicted by America's Next Top Model Cycle 4 contestants

This one is Tatiana as Greed

Naima as Envy

Michelle as Pride

Keenyah as Gluttony

Kahlen as Wrath

Christina as Lust

Brittany as Sloth

2005-12-31T01:25:00.000+08:00

Your 2005 Song Is

Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson

"But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on"

In 2005, you moved on.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

2005-07-02T11:55:00.000+08:00

Angel Set On Fire

Comes as a breathe of fresh air, an angel always so bright and full of life
Holding a hand and chaining a soul with kindness, that is what do to me
Ready to give a sweet smile, a mysterious glance, a loud burst of laughter
In you a true friend I have found, our pact will stay true "till eternity"
Sweet and sensitive, know that you can always be yourself when we're together
The "storm" has passed, I appreciate more and more what we have
Even in craziness and coolness,in party till dawn and the silent moments in between
Never shall there be a doubt to cloud the clear, blue sky
Sure as forever, you'll always be in my heart
Everytime you feel like giving up and challenges seem to cave you in
Now and for always remember that I am changed for with your smile I always win

Though these things are not enough to measure your meaning in my life
And they do not capture how much more you will become in time
That we are friends and in it are growing into the person we want to be
Always will be remembered, always kept in this treasure chest for you and me.

~tinabelles

2005-06-18T13:35:00.000+08:00

I really don't know what's your reason. I am smart enough to know there was something you didn't want to tell me. But I ain't letting myself feel down about it. It just does not make me feel so bad, to be honest with you. I asked and worried about you, though. In my heart at least I know I really care for you even as just a friend. That much I can say.... I treated you as a friend. Thus, I felt deceived that you couldn't even give me an honest answer. We didn't have to talk about it or discuss it but we could have still talked despite whatever it was. Oh well...that's your choice. It really is fair this way and I really can't blame you. I left you once before. But please know that I tried...and you still have a friend in me.

2005-05-21T15:27:00.000+08:00

Musings From A Muse

One thing about love it is so great that when you are inlove, everything around you becomes a perfect painting or flawless cinematography. It is like being in Paris or Italy, or at the beach with the sun setting over the horizon. Things are that magnificent that when they go awry, you become tthis tight ball of pain and tears. Your fists are closed. You become sadness personified. And then you would keep on convincing yourself it won't be long until things will be different. Tomorrow you will be better and braver. You will no longer obssess over the details of what could have gone wrongor what is that you could have said or done to end the beauty of it all. Suddenly, you cannot wait to see yourself independent from the experience, to steer clear of how you were when you were in the midst of that feeling called love. You want the good feeling to stay but you know if you continue holding on you are fooling no one but yourself. And then months would pass and indeed you are over the pain. You are sane again. You have new friends. You are once again singing. You smile. You dance. You do things you want to do because you are yourself once again. But then, when things are hectic and the only time you get to rest is when you are in your bed and is about to sleep , some feeling creeps in. Boredom? I dunno. It is like there is some hole or void. I guess that is why when we are inlove, while we still spend time with friends and enjoy moments with them, we spend more time with that one special person we love the most. They just bring something in us that no one else can.

*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I miss the people of Wave15B. We used to hang out every once in awhileafter work in WE have been "suki" at Top & Table. Nvermind that I am not into stand-up comedy, I went ahead and spend time with them in the above-mentioned venue. Drnks are less expensive, it is very close to work, and there is no entrance fee. And what do you know, I actually had a laugh with the jokes and banters of the comedians from the 3rd orientation ( you knwo what I mean) .

I also miss the moments whenever we would have a rolepaly when we'd just lounge about while wiating for our turn. That's when we sometimes seem to be able to discuss everyhting and anyhting possible under the sun ( read: our sexual lives or lack of it. lol!) KIdding aside, that's one of the instances that helped us get to know each other better. That and the "issues" that came in, alsmost threatening to break up the group. Thankfully, levelheadedness ruled. And friendship- that bond that has already been formed. Friends remained friends, maybe even closer than before. It is in those times when you learned how to be close, to be yourself, to be as crazy and as bratty and as wack as you can be around people while showing respect. And to me, that makes for the best and most memorable friendship one can have. Aww shucks. hihi!

*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Been really craving for Ice MOnster recently. Blame it on the hot and humid weather we have been having ( yeah right! lol!) I love their halo-halo, brownie fudge, and mango. The latter is my most favorite. It is not kakasawa at all! Yum! And sometimes I actually feel like poruing the ice and milk combination over my body. It is that hot thesepast few weeks! What a summer! Speaking of summer, it is almost over and I still have not beenable to go to the beach or to just any resort ( even if they only have pools) just to relax and have a dip. Our family has been to 3 outings this season but I always have work whenever they schedule it that I just make up for it by going out with friends as often as possible. WEll, I guess that's not so bad.

*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Have you seen the latest Pepsi commercial? The on for Fire and Ice? You should check it out! It is really cool and amazing though quite long. Hope there will be more interesting adn well-made ads like that. Most ads nowadays are just so boring, the lines forced and the concept all too common and too predictable. Yawn! Maybe budget constarints also has something to do with it. Oh well...

2005-04-09T12:53:00.000+08:00

These are my sweethearts , Lance and Athena. I am so glad they are growing up to be smart, sweet, loving kids with good values. They are both very talented and I am such a happy Tita. I nevr get tired complimenting them here coz they are worth it.

I love you!

2005-04-09T12:37:00.000+08:00

Silang Namamangka sa Dalawang Ilog...

“Silang namamangka sa dalawang ilog. Kailangang iwan ang isang balsa upang marating ang pangpang. Kung aling balsa ang iiwan, mahirap malaman. Lalong hindi alam kung kailan iiwan.”

from Peyups.com
http://www.peyups.com/article.khtml?sid=1064

2005-04-09T11:43:00.000+08:00

Guess What?!

It's just that I miss you. These pictures are my way of saying that I do. Weird?
Ummmm... I guess di naman. And oh, it is your fave shirt of mine
( is it nga ba? hihi!)The red one with the bears. Be happy always, aite?

2005-04-02T13:17:00.000+08:00

There are two sides to every coin...

so I am dedicating this song to two people: the one who I want to hear it from me if I would sing it, and the other one whom I wish I have the courage to make him realize and know that this should be the song he is singing... sigh.

I Can't Make You Love Me

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
inside my head

Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close,
don't patronize

Don't patronize me

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't

I'll close my eyes
then I won't see
the love you don't feel
when you're holding me

Morning will come
and I'll do what's right
just give me till then
to give up this fight
and I will give up this fight

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't.

2005-03-15T15:40:00.000+08:00

2005-03-06T14:53:00.000+08:00

Eastwood-bound

Okay, so I got in the two Eastwood companies I applied in. The other one has no training schedule as of yet and the other one will start its training tomorrow. I will be there so I will be busy from hereon and won't be able to blog as much as before. I'll be less bored, I guess, which is a good thing. Manning our business is alright but the monotony just got to me. People think that having your own business is cool and you aren't under a strict schedule-adherence policy. It is true in the sense that I don't have to come in early. I can come in after lunch and that's alright. I can also go to the gym. I can leave work earlier when I have somewhere else to go to... if my folks will allow me. But I also have to work 7 days a week.
When I am already in the house, I still have to bear talks regarding the business. Sometimes my Mom would come in my room as I am watchng tv to ask me about some business-related stuff. When I arrive from work, my Dad would ask how the business is doing but he wouldn't ask how I am doing. I could rant on and on but it would get me nowhere. I do care about this business but the truth is, and my parents know this, this is not enough for me. I wish I can say we are earning enough to sustain me and my needs and some other stuff but it isn't. I know they understand.I can't rely on this business alone. I will be here but I can't just devote full-time to this. Not only coz we have technicians/employees to rely on anyway but because... oh I have already stated my reason. And I am glad that they are giving me a chance to have a job outside our business. The good thing is I would still be able to watch primetime tv. At least that I can say during the first week of the training sched. I dunno if there will be a change in sched. during the entire training period. Hope not. :D I will also try to blog as often as I can. But first, have to get my pc at home working. In that way, I can also upload pics from my digicam. I wonder if I can do some surfing at work... hmmm. Just you know...during breaks. lol!

2005-03-03T13:43:00.000+08:00

Presenting....Mario Vaskwez!

He is 27 years old from Bronx,NY.

People say he is probably gay because he has a "soft" look and personality.

His favorite male pop artists are Usher and Justin Timberlake.

Some say he looks like Fez of That 70's Show.

His surname is really pronounced as Vaskwez ( and not Vaskez and it is spelled as Vasquez....Seacreast was right after all. lol!)

I love him! I love his hats! I love his voice. 'Nuff said.

Here are some of his perfomances:

Do I Do

I Love Music

2005-02-23T14:37:00.000+08:00

Quadraple A plus RGH!

Have not written here that much these past few (?) days. And its not because there is nothing to write about but because there's quite a lot going on thatI can't seem to get myself in the mood to right about them. It all started that day when I got a call from this companyasking me for a job interview. They called me once before but I didn't really got to attend the interview they set. Anyway, to cut to the chase,when they called back I already went ahead toprocess the application. And man, I was in Makati till 10 or 11 pm for a series of interviews. And then I was asked to come back the following day for the job offer. Cool! But the night before, as I was in Mcdonald's Paseo , my Mom called me up and we sort of had an argument because she didn't really want me to work in Makati. It is far from where I live, that I admit. So the next day, after the job offer ( which I haven't signed yet up to this day) I went to Eastwood to apply to another company. I got an e-mail from them weeks before invitng me for a n interview.I was surprised because after the interview I was told that I am already in for the training come March. The same thing was said to my friend Claudia ( got surpirsed when I saw her also applying that same day I did) ...that she is in for the training. But I really didn't want to believe it so I went back the next day to ask them if it is already sure. The lady I got to talk to assured me of it and even answered my inquiry on salary and stuff. But now, just a few days till March, I am confused and unsure again as to what to do. I am scheduled for training with the Makati company come february 28. However, I really don't think I wouldlike to take that job because it really is far and since there's no telling what my sched would be, I don't think it wise to accept that. However, it turned out that this Eastwood job is not as sure as I thought it to be. They had a meeting last week and the OPS department wants to also interview the shortlisted applicants before we get to be officially in for the training. It really is irritating to know that because they did say twice that I am already in for the training. Aargh! So now, I dunno what to do. They have not yet called me up for the final interview prior to hiring , and February 28 is already on Monday.Will I really pass up on a sure job for something that's not yet guaranteed? What if they won't even call me back for the interview? They don't seem to be that organized at all. That's how confused and pressured I am nowadays. If only Makati is near I would have jumped at the job offer already. Another thing, the Eastwood company offers a bigger salary. I am really thinking of just turning down the Makati offer because there are instances when my schedule of work could be at 2 am. How the heck am I going to go there at that time? If I would go there earlier, that would mean getting less sleep than I need. The long travel time would also eat up on my sleep time. Yikes! I can't afford to let myself go through that. Not again. I guess I just really have to take the risk in turning that down for the chance with the nearer job. If I will not be accepted for the latter ( which would really suck because I am turning down a sure job offer for it and besided they already said twice before that I am in at least for the training), I will just look for another job that's near my place. The truth is there is no rush for me to get a job because we do have a business. Its just that when I started sending applications, I feel like might as well get one. I have already out in some effort, why not pursue it? That's just me...even in love ( just had to squeeze that in. lol!)

To those reading this, I just really feel like ranting and letting out some steam. If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Just asking.

2005-02-18T14:46:00.000+08:00

My Top Favorite Forums

2005-02-11T15:51:00.000+08:00

Yet I Love

~moonflower~

I am afraid to love, and yet I love you
I do not know you perfectly well,
but I do know things are simply clear and right
I never dreamed that such a man like you existed,
Much less that you would feel the same for me.
And so this wave of emotion I've not fought,
Allowing it to sweep me out to the vast ocean.
Yet stranger still when love yields it power
Born by mere words alone swept me up my feet
Real love, with all its might to capture
Life, with its unending urge for more
Building in every second and every moment
Gathering passion in every sweet embrace
That love might break the bonds of time and space.

2005-02-11T14:07:00.000+08:00

There Is A Certain Smile
~moonflower~There is a certain smile in my heart
Despite the weariness I feel inside
Walking in and out office doors
Braving every questions that come my way
Making decisions for the best that is yet to be
It is that smile that moves like satin on my skin
That kind that envelops me and warms me within

I am stunned, seemingly lost in my own world
Faced with making a decision that days before I never knew
Taking moments in between to find a moment for me
Just to keep intact who I am and my sanity
But all it is a moment to sit down in a corner
listen to the sound of a calm wind or gentle water
And that certain smile and I am once again stronger

Moments of beauty, yearning for music to wash over me
Dreaming of holding ahand and touching a face
This one friendly, sweet and loving one in my heart I embrace
My ahnds are tired , my feet feels like heavy lead
But not too tired to chain you to me and my life
For there’s a certain smile that resounds like happy bells
That smile that comes from you and nobody else.

2005-02-03T13:48:00.000+08:00

This Thing Called You And I

Sometimes I get so speechless and I don't know what to say. That orI can't say it quite well in a way that would give justice to what I feel and to what this whole thing is like. I try, you know I do, but I don't want to mess it up or make it appear less than what it is. I do hope everyone will see and feel it, too. This is my attemptat it because this is as raw and as open as one can get. The gems I keep inside me are in here for people to know. But even if they don't get it, it is enough that it is there. And that we understand.

Note: This is not for the cynics and the jaded out there ( and I was one too) or for those wh simply do not like mushy stuff.But if you still want to read this, go on.Just don't tell me I didn't warn you.

Kahit anong mangyari my love will always remain consistent in the midst of trials

ganun din ako. I am here for you...always. So do take care, please?
When I get stern in reminding you of this and that, know that it it is because I care. Don't be afraid because I am here and it will be alright.

Wala kong maipagmamalaki sa yo. I just love you deep in my heart and I wish happiness for the both of us. I hope you will be strong.

You have so many things to be proud of but you have always been so modest about it...and that is why I love you even more. You are so humble and meek and gentle but deep down I know you are strong.Know that I am here with you and that you need not fear in facing the situaiton you are in right now.

Hugs to my little cute and adorable fairy princess

You called me a princess... and you called me little even if I am not. hihi! *blush* hugz to you too my sweet, charming prince! I think and I know my fairytale just came true when I found you.

I am so lucky you became my gf

haven't I told you I feel the same? Well, I do.

Noon pa lang alam ko ng napakabuti mo so I see no reason to leave you

Aww... you have no idea... I'm so elated.

You are the only one I trust. And you're the only one to whom my heart beats for.

Dapat lang coz if some other woman would take you away from me... you know I would fight for you. And I have a right to, dammit! lol! But I would also give you up if it means giving you your happiness. You know me...

I have no deceitful intentions. Alam kong you speak now out of your experience. It is normal sometimes that we have been failed or fooled by somebody. The important thing is you don't lose hope. If there are lies, all the mroe that there are truths. Time will prove it to you. It will come to pass.

Thank you so much for respecting me and understanding me and being so patient and ... you're really here.I can't believe it but you really are here. I must have done something good... ooh oh bring out the hanky.

Nakakainlove tlga ang sang tulad mo. Ngayon pa lang ko nakatagpo ng tulad mo.Thanks for the warmth of your love. I love you for that.

I dunno what to say except this ( and hiramin ko sa mga pamangkin ko)
ikaw pinakasweet sa lahat ng sweet.

You are the kindest that I ever met kasi di ka basta magagalitin at marunong ka magtiwala at ipaglaban feelings mo

oh my ... didn't see myself as such. I guess you are slowly changing and healing me in ways that I didn't know or expect.I did tell you about my history of jealousy and burts of anger and stuff but you don't see me as how I was but how I am and how I will be.now tears are staring to form... happy tears.

I love you , too. I hope we don't underestimate our relationship lalo na ngayon na I am starting to fall in love with you even more.

and I blush and swoon and ...uh oh a happy tear just fell. I am sorry if there are times when I sound like I am bored or not so interested. I just wish wecan talk and spend time more often.But I really understand. First things first...you know that. Attend to that first ( and know that I am with you) and I will also work on my side to be able to dedicate more time for you and for us without too much strain.

I love you my baby, my prince!

2005-02-01T16:35:00.000+08:00

That You Will Know
~moonflower~

The world is muted under a blanket of snow
The night breeze ceases its whispering
At the park, the orchestra stops playing
What is it then that I hear?
That you will know.

The city lights are engulfed by the dark night.
The night owls are transfixed in their tracks.
Coffee-infested brains are motionless and insipid .
What is it then that I see?
That you will know.

A lover' s lips stop searching and caressing.
A lady's tears freezes on her cheeks.
A friend's extended hands are suspended in midair.
What is it then that I feel?
That you will know.

A cake's sweetness oozes out of its soft layers
A petal loses its nectar to a bee
A man's bitterness dissipates into the sea
What is it then that I taste?
That you will know.

It is you that I hear amidst silence of the trees
It is you that I see in the void of scenery
It is you that I feel in the absence of touch
It is you that I taste when there's nothing to relish.
That is how you live in me
And the world knows,
Oh how it knows

2005-01-29T16:09:00.000+08:00

I Bet You Think This Is About You

I really find this song so amusing. Makes me laugh! And it reminds me of that scene in How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days where Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson sang this very song...full of sarcasm. She ( Kate and not Matthew, okay? lol!) was such a biatch in that movie. Loved her there. At one point or another we all have been vain...I guess. Of course, there are those who outshine or outdo the others when it comes to being one. It is like they make a career out of looking their best. Anyway, back to the song. It is a humorous way of looking at vanity. Who said only the aesthetically-challenged can be funny? Definitely not Carly Simon.

Below are the lyrics to it...

You're So Vain
CARLY SIMON

(Son of a gun)

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror as
You watched yourself cavort
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain (you're so vain)
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you, don't you, aw

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
When you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain (you're so vain)
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you, don't you, don't you

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain (you're so vain)
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you, don't you

Well I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, your with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain (so vain)
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you, don't you, don't you now

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
You probably you think this song is about you
You're so vain!

Man, I am still laughing inside. This song is just so funny!
If I would be a director, I sure would love to be able to make a video of this song. Or maybe I can have some of my friends come over and make a video of this...NOW!Haha! :D

2005-01-28T13:10:00.000+08:00

Etched In My Heart
~moonflower~

I wrote your name on the soft, white sand
But the grains fleeted one by one
They were easily swayed by the mystic ocean
So I wrote it on the sky
But the clouds came and covered it with its gentle feathers
And the rain pelted from the sky and your name was washed away
I formed it on the snow like a snowman complete with its bow and tie
But the sun melted it down the slope
Down and down it went and became a mist
Your name, your memory they aimed to tear apart

Tried and tested, that'swhat we are
But still standing, not worn down
Daring to go on and smoothen the crease and the frown
Beating the winter chill
Daring the scorching sun
Braving the heavy rain that fell on our path
Time and circumstance could not break down the wall
And good things could not be defeated despite a fall
Just like how we found our way again through it all

This time I vow to keep it together
The tough times we will carry together
I pray to God that you and Iwill be healed
whether physically or emotionally
frm every wound, real or imagined
I etched your name in my heart
And that's where it will stay
Yes that is true, trust me on that
Iknow not what the future brings
I know not of promises
I even find it difficult to sustain a rhyme
But I will try my best
I love you my dearest.

2005-01-26T13:23:00.002+08:00

Rugged Over Corporate

I always prefer someone with a rugged, slightly rough appeal
( though soft and gentle on the inside) over a corporately-attired man. Note thought that rugged does not mean bad boy and totally reckless. It just means not being scared to go out of the box and be expressive of who they are.

That is why I prefer Lovers' In Paris' Martin( although here in the pic Martin is also in corporate attire you can still see the rugged appeal) over Carlo and Aidan Shaw ( Carrie 's surname is Bradshaw.Imagine if they got married she'd be Mrs. Carrie Bradshaw Shaw. haha!) over Mr. Big of Sex And The City.

But notice how the corporately-clad guys always get the lady. At least as far as SATC and LIN are concerned. Hmmmm...

2005-01-25T17:07:00.000+08:00

Thoughts In My Head

And What People Talk About These Days

~ miss the foods being served in M.A.E
(people from Miriam College would know what I am talking about)

~ I have a crush on Stephen Chow ( already said that)

~ so into the Peach lotion of The Body Shop

~ i am still missing someone but it feels different.Or maybe it is
just less difficult for me now. I dunno... I guess I am getting the
hang of it. I am learning how to deal...

~ we have a new doorbell. I call it the safari doorbell coz it is
the sound of birds chirping ( i am not kidding! it is crazy! )

~ looking for a new job ( have interviews lined up) but still
thinking if I should pursue them at this point cox I have definite
plans of going out of the country by April. I do need a vacation.
For sure I would not be able to take a leave yet by then. At least
if I stay here manning our business, I can take a few days off by
then. Sigh... I am als0 thinking of this job option in Singapore
which is too good to be true so will have to check that one out.

~ Does the Jollibee Vito Cruz really smell like body odor?
geez....good thing I do not go there. It was funny coz I saw this
as a topic in one of the forums I am a part of. Haha!

here were the theories and comments from some of the members:

girl1: maybe the manager or one of the waiters doesn't take a bath or maybe it's a No Good PLot of Mc Do to throw Jolibee off Balance in the Fast Food Business.... must have planted a Stink BOmb!!!

girl 2: i study at ...! oo! sobra! well, may part lang dun, sa may near there function rooms..grabe todo ang amoy!!! sa baba naman tsaka other side nang 2nd floor hindi...

girl 3: Maybe their ventilation sucks. Fastfood joints such as Jollibee and McDonald's would probably smell of "putok" if the ventilation isnt so good....since they have onions included in their food...and we all know that onions smell really bad Didnt u notice that pizza smells that way too??? Yung onions ang culprit!!

girl 4:hay wala naman akong nakitang jolibee na malinis... ay yung sa glow pala ang ganda ewan ko lang kung may amoy peach mango pie lang ang kinakain ko don eh.

girl 5:dahil ata dun sa ginagamit nilang panglinis ng floor nila.

girl 6:i think so too.before kasi we were at mega-mall. almost closing time na and we were on our way to the parking lot when we passed by jollibee. as in super stinky. i dunno if its amoy putok. (ano bang amoy putok? hehe).

anyways, we saw a jollibee personnel with mop and a bucket. we surmised that the stink bomb was the cleaning agent they use on the floor.

Really funny. The things people talk about nowadays. :D

2005-01-25T15:39:00.000+08:00

Narcissistic

I enjoy taking pictures of myself. I dunno why. I don't even look like a print-ad model. I have eyebags.I don't have flawless white skin. But then I guess there it goes. I confess to be a frustrated model. As a kid, I loved posing infront of the camera, arms on my waist, hips to the side, arched eyebrows and with a taray look on my face. Hehe. If I would see some of my old pics as a kid, I might just post some of them here. Taking pictures of myself every now and then is the closest I get to that childhood ambition. It is alright, though. Just one of them things I fancied as a kid. Being myself is not so bad.There are actually instances when it feels good just to be me.

2005-01-24T17:17:00.000+08:00

Love... You...I

Beautiful, blue sky
Warm, golden sun
Coppery moon
Sparkle of stars
Hands to shoulders
Lips to cheeks
Heart to heart
Morning
Noon
Night
Every moment in between
Inspires
Heightens
Abides
Believes
Perseveres
Cherishes
Grows
Love
You
I

2005-01-24T13:11:00.000+08:00

Kung Fu Hustle

I just want to say I enjoyed watching Kung Fu Hustle last Friday night. It was really funny. I don't know what it is but there's something about the movie that just caught me. It is officially now one of my favorite movies. Must be because of Stephen Chow. I think I have a crush on him. Kinda weird coz he is not the usual crush material...at least not mine.

Oh well... so what? Hihi! Look at him!

2005-01-22T16:35:00.000+08:00

Intro:

This is a story that would always be told
It is your story,as it is mine
It is a story of every lovers in the land;
Of those who hoped and were left to cry
Of those who loved but never had the will to stay.

The world will always speak of one language
the language of love, the language of pain.
So now, I'll let the poem below speak for itself
Maybe you'll find yourself thinking,
"That could very well be me talking."

"Carl" - March 18,2001

He who is a fallacy, he must not be known
Yet when God showered the grains of the day
He gave a fierce man the gentlest of names.
Carl,his name was once like daffodils dancing with the wind
Like gems, diamond and pearls dangling precariously on a willow tree.
The fountain of youth waited for a drop of his binding spell
Then days seemed forever and the moon remained on its axis
The sky was, for a time, wholly owned by the valiant night
It became a haven of majestic stars and hungry vixens of the wild
And at the foot of the river, a lady waited for her master
Carl, his coming was her lone exaltation,
the awakening of her pallid soul.

He arrived,he gathered the fruits of passion,he laid them down her feet
She bended down to partake of each of them without shame, without guilt
She's like a swan on a pristine lake in the mountains,
it would take the water that would satiate its thirst if it desires.
As for him, he stared at her with awe till he could take it no more
Carl,he probed with his hands and knew with his lips
A touch of gentle exuberance, lithe firmness, chilled surrender.
And with that the tip of her fingers down to her toes turned warm
They were leavened and rose to high heavens.
At the middle of the river, he fueled her torch
Carl, his invasion was her ammunition

He swept, he toiled, he planted the seeds of a promise
She tended for the millions of tomorrows she anticipated would come
Just as a shrub is meant to someday be a hundred years old.
Carl, he claimed everything around him to be his and his alone
And that included her heart she willfully gave.
With her hoodwinked thoughts and emotions,she loved
She danced with him without a foreboding of things to come
Carl, he knew his power, he knew her frailty
his strength and power was her utmost surrender.

He promised, he tried, he faltered to make his words true
She was in torment and she lied down to let the sun burn her skin
Carnelian mud dried and enveloped her whole body and she didn't care
Her sacred temple was tainted with seething rage and darkness
She heaved curses to the wind and the waters
It was they who knew the anguish she would be going through
But not a warning, not a whisper ,not a thing was said
At the end of the river,she lost her seat to a perfidious snake
Carl, his sanctimonious promise was a stake to her heart,
it left a wound that may never ever fully mend.

2005-01-19T14:43:00.000+08:00
Love Makes No Promises

I want you to take me to the province where you live. I want us to walk the rice fields, dance , and spend time with the children of your town. I want you to hold my hands as we walk by and let the cool, fresh breeze touch our face.

I want you to celebrate our anniversary with me. In our case, it is quite hard to say when is the exact date we became together because... well we both know why. WE do know when we were "reunited" so maybe we can just focus on that. I want romantic stuff...
even if I say I don't want you to spend much... do know that I want flowers. No woman doesn't like receiving flowers. But really, just do not forget. It is the thought that counts, after all.

I want you to cook me meals. You said you cook well and you learned it from your Mom so of course I want to taste the foods you prepare. And I will prepare foods for you, too. We can have a picnic. And you can serenade me, too. *wink*

If problems beset us, you will talk to me first before you talk to anybody else. I want us to trust each other more than other people. The only third party we will allow into our relationship is God
( though we have different religions deosn't mean we have to fight)

If I fall and get hurt or if I cry again and remember someone, just hold me. I know it is tough, but you don't have to do anything specific to stop me fromcrying. Just cradle me to you.

There are so many things more that I want...but the most important thing I ask is that you to always be true to me.Let us not make any promises we cannot keep.
Let's keep what we have as real as possible. I also ask for patience. I don't want empty words, I know you don't want them either. Say what we mean and mean what we say. Let us keep our feet on the ground while reaching for the stars.

2005-01-17T14:28:00.001+08:00

My Inspiration

Waiting for a ride, I could't help but look at the sky as the sun was setting. Over the horizon, I could already see the crescent moon amidst the pink-blue sky. Then contentment washed over me. What could be the reason? What could it be? Could it be someone? And could that someone be you?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As I was inside the vehicle, passing by the store and the houses and the banks around, I saw long lines of people beneath the ATM machines. A psrt of me felt envious that those people were in line to get their salary. I miss the time when I would excitedly check the ATM near our office building in Makati. And then I'd treat myself to a javanilla. No wonder I gained so much weight at that time. There's also a Mcdonald's in the same building where Seattle's Best is. Anyway, the envy faded soon. It just occurred to me that their money would just probably go to their debts/bills etc. It would only pass their fingers. Also, I realized one very important thing: yes I don't have a salary ( or not as much) to withdraw from an ATM machine but I do have one thing these people don't have... YOU. Suddenly, I could not complain. I just sat there in wonder...amazed. How blessed can one get? I didn't just withdraw you from a machine.It wasn't just a matter of pressing 4 to 6 buttons and waiting for you to be dispensed... and only to go to somebody else's palm later on. What we have , instead, is something built for mroe or less a year. THings came between us...tears, trials, brokenhearts. And I was scared of fully trusting. One moment we were there, the next we were having less and less time for each other. And slowly, I erased messages on my phone, not daring to look back but quite scared to look forward. But I did. I let myself out into a throng of different faces, each with different plans. And many times my trust and heart were broken by empty words and promises. A few sweet nothings and I lay all cards on the table...when I was so wary of you. And you were thrown into the same things: relationship issues, family concerns, etc. It was the right emotion, but the timing was wrong. So let go I did. Slowly, I eased myself into letting go of the things that you've said, the hopes that were already built somehow. And that was when the wandering started. What was it like without you? I almost dread to remember the sordid details. They still hurt...and I can't promise I have totally forgotten. But I no longer want to cry for the things that didn't come to be. I no longer want to be sad, and hurt. I want to be happy for whoever broke my heart because even with the pain I feel, I care for him and I cannot be self-centered and selfish anymore....or to carry hope of something that clearly cannot be. Things have changed but it doesn't mean I have to be bitter. This isn't just about me... it is about him, and her....and you. Yes, it is about you. And I cannot and will try my best not to hurt you...because I know how painful and ugly things can get. I just want things to be alright. I let you go once because of my fears... and it is crazy because you could be the one. Maybe, among all those I have trusted , you are the one who deserves to be trusted the most. And I wouldn't know that unless I give it a try. I want to focus on one thing alone right now: that God, in His infinite goodness, has a reason for every pain. And sometimes, in every separation is a reunion. The moments in between could be the preparation, the polishing of every jagged edge, the healing would, then forgiveness would set in. And then the pieces would fit and eventually lock together. I cannot say that right now that the mold is perfect, but I am in the healing process. We both are. Even so, I know the fit has been made. Thanks for being there for me.

2005-01-13T16:00:00.000+08:00
Love Moves In Mysterious Ways

Who'd have thought this is how the pieces fit
You and I shouldn't even try making sense of it
I forgot how we ever came this far
I believe we had reasons but I don't know what they are
Don't blame it on my heart, oh

Love moves in mysterious ways
It's always so surprising
When love appears over the horizon
I'll love you for the rest of my days
But still it's a mystery
How you ever came to me
Which only proves
Love moves in mysterious ways

Heaven knows love is just a chance we take
We make plans but then love demands a leap of faith
So hold me close and never never let me go
'Cos even though we think we know which way the river flows
That's not the way love goes, no

(Repeat chorus)

Like the ticking of a clock two hearts beat as one
But I'll never understand the way it's done, oh

(Repeat chorus)

Love moves... in mysterious ways....

2005-01-12T15:22:00.000+08:00
Rey's most recent entry in his blog reminds me of something I wrote years ago. As I commented, "same concept." So here it is. Btw, this was published on The Philippine Post( like you care. lol!)

I Know You Think I Love You

" Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too. "

I know you think I love you. I must admit I do. And in a way , I take that knowledge with me like a security blanket. It is certainly nice to know that I am a feeling creature, capable of loving and feeling an unexplainable thrill just by thinking of you.

That is how you affect me. I would go to a bookstore to buy something I need and for some strange reason, when I am already there, I lose all sense of purpose and all I am aware of is this compelling need to find a copy of the book you always mention. And in an impulsive and almost irresponsible way, I buy that book, believing that as soon as I take hold of it, we finally have something in common.

To go a step further, I even hope that maybe, just maybe, it will bring us together. I eman, you'll never know. In this world, anything can happen, right? Besides, relationships must start somewhere , and this I can say with utmost certainty; when they do, they often come at the simplest, most unexpected time. Not always. But most of the time.

" Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me. "

Of course, I could dream of more adventurous, incredibly romantic situations for us to fall in love. I could think of you as a knight in shining armor and I could be a dmasel in distress. Or we could have a story like that of Romeo and Juliet- steadfast, but forbidden. But see, they are so predictable and I guess they bore me. I happen to be more of a reality-based person. It's a part of me that I had to learn throughput the years.

But lest I be thought of as the perennial Ice Queen, the one that comes along to ruin people's romantic notions, I will tell you that I am not. I do believe in romance. It's just not the credo I live by. How many relationships have gone rocky simply because of expectations that were built on make-believe derams , on sugar-coated words and deeds? It saddens me tobe the one to break that news to you but it saddens me even more to see you getting entangled ina web of deceit and finding it hard to get out. You realize love can't get you out of the bind you are in and you ask your partner, " Where's the love we've painstakingly built? Where is the person I used to know?"

But think about it. Are you sure you really know the girl you're talking to? Are you sure you love everything that she isand not just the girl you wish her to be?

That's where the problems lie, when we live in the idea of a paradise so pristine and unscathed that we fail to realize that in each beauty is pain, that in each budding relationship are ghosts of the pastand realities of the present which we have to deal with. Such is life and we have to be strong in accepting that.

" Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe
That you came up to me and said I love you
I love you too. "

I know you think I love you. I must admit I do. And in a way , I take that knowledge with me like a security blanket. It is certainly nice to know that I am a feeling creature, capable of loving and of feeling ab unexplaianble thrill just by holding your hands... the way we do right now. That is how you affect me. I sit here with you and, all of a sudden, Iam learning what love is all about.

" Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow ( till tomorrow) and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room
Dreaming with you endlessly. "

2005-01-11T22:06:00.000+08:00

I wrote this poem a month ago because I just remembered what a friend told me. I won't explain further. Just read the poem...the thoughts are simple and not that hard to figure out.

In Circles
~moonflower~

Spinning, spiraling
Going somewhere I hope
You bind me in a trance
Getting dizzy
Is this part of the dance?
Slow down if I shall
But let go I will not
For this merry-go-round is made for two
I brought you here and steady shall it be
If I let go now this ride will careen out of place
So hold you I will, the circle will not be broken
But it will be steady now and you can rest easy
Slowly, gently I will cradle you
The reign on this I can share with you
If you want it, I will give you half the key.

2005-01-11T16:04:00.000+08:00
Some of Life's Unanswered Questions

1. are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
2. can you get cornered in a round room?
3. Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on
regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to
buy the cable?
4. Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
5. Why are Pringles curved?6. If a fork were made of gold would it
still be considered silverware?
7. Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
8. Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift
NOT been free?
9. Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
10. Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks
to us we are put in a loony bin?

I personally have something to add here... a question that's been going through my mind and heart. To this day, I don't understand it. The only answer I get for it is that such is life. So, everything is all about fate now? Like, you can work really hard and not get your dreams coz it isn't how life is? And what do you mean by such is life anyway? That life is not fair? That life is just a map to be followed? Yikes, more questions are spawning from me? Do I sound bitter? Am I? Lol! Well, more like frustrated. Sad, maybe.In disbelief... to some degree. Hmmmm...

2005-01-06T13:43:00.000+08:00
Guess What's Back?

Well, like I really need to say it. Some of you may have seen me put anothertemplate for thisblog. I just liked it...at first. It's that kind of template where in, at first, you'd like it. I knew , however, I would get tired of it easily. It was way too pink and ... eeew! However, I still put it up if only to indulge myself. And I have no regrets giving it a try. I mean, what if it would have turned out perfect but I would not know because I didn't give it a try? At least, coz I gave it a go , I found out it wasn't right after all. It was too much. But I am not wondering now because I know. No what ifs on that one, that's for sure. So now, I am on to another "search". Well, not rushing it, though, coz I know the right one would come. I'd eventually see it. Wait, am I still talking about my blog template? Haha!

2005-01-05T15:47:00.000+08:00
The Hair Did It... Haha!

I went to a Fix salon branch last Monday to get a perm. Yes, you got it right: I had my hair curled. As some of you may know, this is not the first time I did it. And just like the first time,I am not really satisfied with the result coz again the stylists weren't able to do it as I wanted.But I'll live through what I now call my disaster of a hair( at least for a few months). Haha! It's alright, really. It just takes work to fix it and all ( ugh maybe that's why they called their salon Fix... coz you would have to keep on fixing your hair so much after going there. lol!) Still worth the trip to the salon coz I saw some pretty gay stylists. Hahahaha! man, some of them sure could sashay. It is amazing... the flick of their hands, the sway of their hips, the lilt in their baritone voices. Hihi! And with the two of them fussing over me, I swear I got a whiff of their scents. They smelled good. Not like they were wearing designer perfumes ( or maybe they were) but they definitely smelled fresh (listen to me...goodness! Haha! ) I felt like a princess with my faithfuls-fully-scrubbed, styled, maybe even bikini-waxed doing my hair. Wished they did me instead. Hahahaha! I can almost hear a friend saying, "You are such a lesbian!" haha! With those pretty stylists, trust me dear I almost wished I was one. You beware my friend, I will make a lesbian out of you. haha! The horror of it ba?! Kidding, my dear!

2004-12-30T14:25:00.000+08:00
Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all the people that I love dearly. You know who you guys are! Let's face the coming year together...with hope and joy and a renewed sense of what we can achieve. Let us also continue praying not just for ourselves but also for our brothers and sisters who are in grief and suffering because of the recent calamities and problems that beset them.

Plan your work and work your plan.
Love yourself.
Never say never.
Keep it positive.
Spend more time listening.
Buy something of a bright color and lighten up.
Get out of the red.
Speak up when something is wrong.
Acknowledge the good.
Be solution-oriented.
Take time to appreciate the simple things.
Always examine both sides of the story.
Remember your ancestors.
Nothing in excess.
Take responsibility for what is yours.
Pray.
Say no to anything that does not validate or support who you are or what you aspire to be.
Respect your elders.
Teach the children the truth.
Take time to laugh.
Enjoy life.
Be an example setter.
Think.
Learn to forgive.
Never forget.
Have faith.
Strive for excellence.
Don’t waste time.
Never stop dreaming.
Know you deserve success – dream it, see it, taste it, touch it, live it.
Be your own best friend.
Understand the power of the word – it can cut, crush, soothe, heal, create.
Count your blessings.
Keep your word.
Be in tune with your spirit.
Choose your battles and fight to win the war.
Stand tall.
No one can ride your back unless it is bent.
Give from the heart.
Practice what your preach.
Always journey toward enlightenment.
Get closer to God.
Take pride in yourself.

2004-12-30T13:51:00.000+08:00

Where Nga?

I asked a friend, " where are you? " and his reply was " Dito. "

gee thanks for the reply. hihi!

2004-12-23T16:20:00.000+08:00
I Believe
~ moonflower ~

Pitter patter little angel's feet
Walking down the well-lit streets
Ahem ahem vocal cords need a bit of tuning
Then go the Christmas carols and the church bells ringing

The whole world's a bundle of frenzy and merry-making
Each house is an eye candy full of lights a twinkling
A mistletoe can make lovers out of friends
Start a kissing game until the day's end.

Gifts are given for young and old
Wrapped in papers of color gold
An affirmation of love is why we give
Thus , with this season I still believe

I believe in Santa Claus and Rudolph with his red nose
I believe the magic and hope they bring to a child as he grows
I believe in yuletide greetings and food a plenty
I believe in giving and sharing to the needy
Most of all I believe in Jesus Christ as the baby born on a manger
the Jesus Christ I know as our brother and our precious saviour.

2004-12-22T16:03:00.000+08:00
Inexpressible love:

To know that one does not write for the other, to know that these things I am going to write will never cause me to be loved by the one I love, to know that writing compensates for nothing. "

~Roland Barthes

sniff sniff... need I say more on this? tsk tsk... sometimes you just know.

2004-12-19T01:32:00.000+08:00
Shy Babies

I have 10 carebears and have taken pictures of the four of them ( funshine bear, good luck bear, baby hugs, and friend bear). They are still camera-shy that's why the pictures are the way they are. Funshine bear is the most timid one ( and you'd think that with her sunny disposition she'd be the one raring to have her picture taken.hihi!) :D The other 6 ( baby tugz, do-your-best bear, grumpy bear, love-a-lot bear, harmony bear, and tenderheart bear) even scampered away when they learned I'd be taking pictures of them. lol!

2004-12-14T16:35:00.000+08:00
"Couch Commando!"

All systems go! television
It is that time of the night
Ready, fine fingers, and do as you are bid
Press the numbered buttons on the RC

All systems go! microwave
Heat up with all your might
Ready, popcorns,and topple over each other
Race your way to the buttre on the kicthen counter.

All systems go! Budweisers and Heinekens
Fizzle and pop and slosh on the rim of the mugs
Flow aplenty and chill with the ice from the bucket
The party for two is just about to get started.

All systems go! eyes and ears
Hear and see the spectacle unfold on the screen
Sit comfy on the old, leather couch
Be it jack and jill on your tube,or monica and chandler bing

All systems go! dark,still night
Let the crickets chirp near the window pane
Let them watch with what they understand
Let them dance to the couch when it comes squeaking anytime now

All systems go! young lovers on a midnight rendezvous
Your audience of nocturnal creatures have all been waiting
So make your own story, act your romance that beats them all
Dance to the music of your body,respond to the moon's primitive call.

2004-12-08T14:06:00.000+08:00

Joie De Vivre

My birthday is coming up a few days from now. And it isn't just about me. I consider it a celebration of the people that has made and is continuously making my life a special one. As you "mature" , you realize it is not justa bout you, that the saying " No man is an island" holds true in your life. And getting sick and being confined in the hospital for the first time in my life a little over two weeks before my birthday makes me realize even more the value of the people in my life. Each birthday, year after year, is worth celebrating with these people.

My childhood friends in the neighborhood- Jaena ( sweetheart... my childhood bestfriend), May ( darling), Ayan ( Honey) , Weng & Kite, Marc, Jerome, Janet... They were the ones that made my childhood fun and memorable. We really had those sweet petnames for each other and they used to call me Love.

Daughters of my mom's officemates- I won't mention their names anymore. When we were still kids, we would sometimes perform in my Mom's office during Christmas parties.

Highschool friends -In school, I was the silent type and I kept to myself but there are a number of people I would like to mention- Cat, Ling, Amy, Grace ( now with a family of her own and is in Seattle, WA. miss her so much!), Maddy, Madelle, Kat, Elea, Tiu etc.

Royal Crusader's Movement Parish Choir-- I will not mention their names anymore coz there is a lot, and quite a number of them also came from the same school I came from. I love them and I miss hanging out with them every Sunday during the 9am mass , and then the practice afterwards.

Liturgical Choir- ( this was in college)- I really had so much fun with them, all the practices, the concerts and performances, the carollings, everyting. 3 of my college buddies ( Nina, Coritz, Ayee) were also a part of the choir and we even sang 1 of the 2 required audition pieces as a quartet. Togerther with Jing, we loved watching movies during ong hours in between classes and I remember us running in the school corridors anumber of times to beat the bell. Thus we would get to our classroom huffing a bit. lol! That's just one of the fun things we did in college. Anyway, back to the choir. Such a wacky bunch with distinct personalities. It was also in this choir when I literally experinced haing my mouth pried open ( i wasn't alone in this) by our instructess, a UP Madrigal. It was fun and such an honor being the choir's Business manager for two years.

Reggie(she's a girl)- my best buddy from my first job. She is such a sweet friend, really fun to be with, open and candid, and she does not let criticisms put her down. I admire her for efforts and concern for her friends and her siblings. We got along so well and we would shop together, go to Starbucks together, goto the ladies' washroom together, and sleep together ( no it is not what you think), and make chika during office hours together. I miss her and I do wish to see her again.I can still drop by her office anyway ( that's where my Mom works, too).

Expedia53 Batch83 of PS
- how can I forget them? I have fond memories of being with them. It was really fun training and working with them, and shopping and going out with them. Though it has been a year ago since I resigned from PS, I still remember them and the times we shared like they were just yesterday.

Christian Rey- I am happy I met this guy. We have not seen each other in person ( not yet) coz he is in the US but I consider him a dear friend. I feel that things have not been so good with us ( a part of it is really my fault... i admit) and I feel so bad whenever I piss him off. He is right that we are going in circles and I can't blame him for feeling tired. I do care about him and I hope to be able to become a better and more deserving friend to him. yes, his opinion matters to me because I know he has a good head on his shoulders. And he is not perfect, I know, but deep down I know he is good. he is caring to those around him...sweet and affectionate. While things are not all roses between us, I consider him as a dear friend. And I hope he feels the same. I thank him for being as patient as he can be... for putting up with me. If he gives up ( i hope he doesn't), I know I can't blame him because all this time he has been extra patient with me. he knows what I truly feel...I know he has heard sorry so many times before so I am not saying it. I'll just do what I can to be a better friend he can be proud of. I hope he will keep the faith coz I still have faith in our friendship. I love yayan ( another name I call him)in so many ways. I hope he does not feel bad about that. He is my sweetbro. I miss hearing him call me sweetsis ...but I understand. I know he has his reasons. I just want him to know I am still the same person he knew back when we first got to talk and I will just be true to myself by saying I hope I will be able to earn being called his sweetsis once again. Not coz I feel forced or that I think it has to be that way. Rather, is because it means something to me.

PP, Litemail, Rushers, Girltalkers, DMC - These are the groups that I have been a part of or is still a part of. I am not an official DMC member but there are a number of them I feel comfortable with. And I am beginning to like the group, in general, more and more. I admit that I have some preconceived notions about this group but I am beginning to see they are not bad ( at least not all! lol!) I have yet to get to know them better.

my Mom- she is my bestfriend, no doubt about that.She's been so caring and when I was in the hospital, she was the one who took care of me. We bicker, we argue, we disagree, but we also get along. Think Gilmore Girls. We are somehow like them. :D
Of course, my Dad and my brothers are also special to me. I love them and I know they don't intend to be mean when they scold or reprimand me. They just care. My dad used to really spank em and my brothers, using belts and sticks to dfiscipline us. And hewas really tough. I remember being chased by him as I run inside our van when I was a kid. It seemed as if he couldn't get enough. And as a kid, I didn't understand why he had to hit me that hard and that much. I admit that till now I wonder how he could have shownso much anger to us. Using the rod to discipline your kids is alright but there are certain limits to that. When you see your kid running , her eys strickern with tears,and she has already accidentally peed in her pants out of pain and fear... Anyway, it is all in the past. My dad does not do that anymore. And he is still my dad and I appreciate him, too.

So there... as I have said I consider my birthday not just my celebration but also a celebration of the people who are a part of my life. My birthday is also about the abundance of love some people have shared and is still sharing with me. Those that I don't get to hang out with anymore...I still remember them with fondness and whatver I have learned from them I carry with me in activities and dealings with other people up to this very day. I am sure there are a lot more people taht deserves to be in this list, and thought I have not mentioned their names doesn't mean they are not included. Looking forward to spending more time with them, and meeting new friends as well.Also looking forward to a longer list of people to celebrate with in the next birthdays to come.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Gifts I Wish To Receive

digicam ( i am "canvassing" right now and asking people for ideas so that when I have eniugh money to buy, I'd make a good choice)

cooking and baking lessons
violin lessons- a friend of mine taught me a bit but I hardly catch him nowadays coz he is very busy with own violin lesoons and his career as a vet. Besides, if I want to learn more, I can't just rely on him.
more carebears( I have 9, so far), more gel pens and colored pens, and more buttons/pins( another collection)

a trip to the US( CA, LV, New England States...basically a state to state trip)
a spa treatment- from head to toe would be nice.

shopping spree ( shoes, bags, clothes, perfume, etc)
my own beach resort and beach house ( I can dream, can't I? hihi!)
okay...okay a boyfriend. It is not a necessity and it is alright not having one but if one will come along I already have an idea of what I want in a guy. Still, when you fall in love who knows who and what kind of guy you will fall for, right?
a romantic date with either ____, ____, ____, or____ .It doesn't mean I am in love with all of them ( no way! lol!) but who knows how it will turn out , right? I happen to find them interesting on various levels and intensity. Admittedly, one of them tops my list! :D Thinking about, it doesn't have to be oh-so-romantic! The most important thing is for me and my date to genuinely have a good time.
good health, long and happy life for me , my family and friends

2004-12-08T07:17:00.000+08:00
Down, But Definitely Not Out

Today is the feast day of the Immaculate Conception. I know that it would do me well to realize what it means. I also know that it would be nice to learn to live an immaculate life, pure and free from the shackles of my past. I have been a "bad" person last year, living a life that I am not proud of. This year, I have realized I cannot go on living that life for it made me unhappy and it was bad for my self-esteem. I am going through my recovery process right now, and I tell you it is not an easy task. I still fall. And last night, with my past coming back to haunt me, it was...I can't even begin to explain what it felt like for me. I wonder why it happened just when I am picking up the pieces. But I have realized I cannot and will not let what happened deter from me keeping the fight. I have gone somewhere with my efforts and I know I still have quite a long way to go to be the person that I want to be. Maybe it happened to challenge me into doing better, conquering my past and facing it. I cannot undo what has been done but the choice is mine to be strong and acknowledge my mistakes as lessons to be learned and carried. Maybe someday I can even share them to other people who might be needing them. Right now, I am scared more of what it will do to my parents and the entire family if they find out. I should have thought of them then before being irresponsible with my ways. I do know that blaming myself will not help me move forward. What is more important now is to pick myself up.

Incidentally, it could also have been my birthday today ( Mom said if I was indeed born on this date I would have been named Concepcion) based on my mom's pregnancy calendar, but I was born a few days after. Still, I would like to take this day as a celebration of what I know I could be, a life that I could lead if I choose to be strong and if I refuse to let anything to distract me out of my aim. It is not easy and boy am I glad I am not alone in taking all of this. I have friends and my family to help me out. I
also know God has never left my side. Still, this is something personal and to fix this means more courage and willingness from me than from anybody else. Nevertheless, I also want to establish a better relationship with those who care for me. I can say my relationship with God has seen better days and the fact that He has not given up on me ( and have even sent good people my way) is something I truly appreciate.

As for the one who has done what he did, I knew it was definitely bad judgement on my part to trust him. I am fixing my life now and is trying to be a better person but it does not mean I am going to trust him again. Or to even pretend to like him. He may have momentarily put me down with what he has done, but I am back up and I won't allow him to keep me out of the good I have started for myself.

2004-12-07T16:35:00.000+08:00

I wrote this a few years ago (about two years ago) Last I heard, Marc is already in Singapore, his Pharmacy degree in tow. I kinda miss him and his sisters.

Introduction:

My childhood years are gone, but the memories remain . It is in every
corner of the street we live in till this very day.It is in every
scar from playing patintero and many other games with my playmates.
Most of all, it is in Marc ( born on the month of March ,thus the
spelling). He was my archenemy. Or so it seemed.

"Every Now and Then There's Marc" ( a childhood chronicle)

It had always been boys against girls in our quaint, little street.
As a kid, I would play patintero with our neighbours under the heat
of the summer sun. But the heat between Marc and I were steamier,
almost up the boiling point. But it wasn't the "heat" that adults
would find stimulating...definitely not!It was more like a world war
between two kids! I was a snobbish girl. Marc was a chicken...and a
first class jerk! I didn't know what pleasure he would get from
making me mad but that's what he loved doing...the obnoxious kid that
he was. In patintero, he would always be the man on the first line
and I hated it so much that he would let all the other girls pass by,
while making sure I stay behind. Oh how Ihated him. I would shout at
him at the top of my lungs the entirety of the game.He would just
smile at me gallantly , and I would freak out . And then, in
frustration I would cry. That guy was the first one who ever made me
cry.Yet, I found it weird that when he would sign slumbooks of our
friends, he would always say I am his crush because I am pretty.
Yuck! What a jerk! What guy would endlessly infuriate a girl if he
has a crush on her? I detested him so...his confident grin and the
fact that he stood in the way of me enjoying my chidlhood to the
extreme. But I sort of enjoyed the attention he gave me. .. in a
b*t*hy way. When my playmates and I would do some role-playing, all
the girls would act as sisters and the guys would act as our
suitors. Of course, he was the one I was always paired with. And it
was in those games when I was able to let him buy me a bottle of coke
and nips chocolate.How did it happen? Well, the other girls all got
something from their "suitors" so I made sure he would hear me
whining about how I was the only one who didn't get anything at all.
A few minutes after that, the coke and the nips came in. Oh how I
enjoyed that. I shared the food with my friends and we would laugh at
how suckers the guys were...pampering us and all. It must have been
so mean of us ( especially me) but hey, we were kids! We would also
act out fairy tale stories . One thing I remember up to this day was
when we played Sleeping Beauty. Guess what? I was the princess to be
kissed, he was the prince that would do the kissing. And right here
in our house! Ugh! WEll, the kiss didn't happen, thank God (?!), or I
would have kicked him in the groin where it would really hurt.
Admittedly, though, when the kiss didn't come ( not even on my
cheek), it also made me think for a second that maybe he didn't like
me anymore. Hmmph! Nevertheless, I always found solace in our fights
and endless bickering. Strange enough, I knew that as long as we were
fighting , we were okay.He was a part of my childhood, a reminder of
the good old days Back then,our activities included buying ice
cream from the mamang sorbetero , collecting a certain kind of stone
which we thought were amulets that would make us superheroes, trading
stationeries, and simply spending lazy afternoons in the cozy
sarisari store in our street.If only I knew childhood wasn't meant to
stay, taking away with it Marc's attention, I would have treasured it
even more.

Here's the story of how Marc and my childhood left me, unexpectedly.
My female childhood bestfriend who is older than me by a year, would
always talk about her first crush, Walter Garcia. If elt I should
already have a crush, too , regardless of how young I was ( maybe 8
or 9). So one Saturday , when I chanced upon this chinky-eyed kid on
the junior newscast on channel 9, I made myself believe I had a crush
on him. And I made my other friends believe it ,a s well. Including
Marc. At first I thought it was fun to hear how they would react to
the "new, more adult" me but now I have realized that that was one of
the lamest things I ever did in my life. As soon as word got around
about my crush, things suddenly changed. One morning, as my
bestfriend and I wre taling, another friend of ours ( who happend to
be Marc' sister), started calling my bestfriend, signifying an
intention that she wanted to talk to her. My bestfriend joined her
then and they started talking without asking me to join them. I knew
then that tehre was something wrong and that I was the one talking
about. Why else would send weird glances my way? Why all the secrecy?
Suddenly, I felt so conscious being alone and not being told what the
fuss was about but I tried not to show it to anyone . It didn't take
long, though, for me to find out what they wre talking about.That
very same afternoon, I found out Marc gave a love letter to our
other playmate! And to think he never gave me one before. What a
moron!And to make it worse, when all our other playmates already went
home, the girl he wrote a letter to was still outside and she called
me to join her.Then she started telling me how thrilled she was,
receiving a love letter from him. FRom "my Marc"!It was so sickening
I swear i could vomit! And as Marc himself was still outside at that
time, theyw ould steal glanes and she would be beyond herself ,
giggling! Aaargh! Please! Like I didn't know he liked me so much
he just got so jealous to know I already had a crush. It was jyst
his way of trying to make em jealous too, i know. He was that
transparent, sorry to say! And if he thought that he was able to let
out the green-eyed monster in me, sorry to disappoint him but he
didn't! Not at all! I just hated the fact that he thought his
little , stpid scheme woudl work on me. In his yes, I knew he saw me
as pretty, but he obviously didn't think I was smart enough to see
through his actions. And that was offensive! After that incident, I
cannot say I remember much of Marc. It sort of squished our awareness
of each other .Gone were the days of fighting and irritating the heck
out of each other. Gone ,too, were the days of playing Sleeping
beauty and Prince Charming. Most of all, gone were the Nips and the
Coke.Yet, it didn't matter much to me. I knew both of us had some
growing up to do.And that's exactly what happened.

Of course, we remain neighbours up to this very day. I havemet so
many friends , and have faced many challenges and excitement as I am
sure he also had several of his own. Yet he has never fully left,
that I know now to be true. In place of teh jerk of aboy is a more
mature man. Once , in highschool, I have received a simple card fom
him and his sisters that said , "Thank you ...for making my day
complete, for showing me such special care, fro yourthoughtfulness,
and most specially for your love." They pasted it on a staionery and
I took it to be kept in my wallet. It is still in there
up to this day.

Last year, on a humid afternoon, I was walking down the street to our
hosue when I saw him again after so many years. At first I didn't
know it was him but he really looked familiar. It was the same dark
skin, slightly deep set eyes, and easy smile. Yet , he was wearing an
off-white, short-sleeved barong .Far from what i rememeber him
wearing when we were kids.It took quite a while before it finally
occurred to me who it really was and when it did, i was still left
gaping.Was that really him? Was that the Marc I knew?

There was an instance when my sister-in-law ( she graduated from the
same HS as Marc) mentioned him to us...how he is so smart, always
receiving awards in their school, and winning quiz bees. It gave me a
warm sense of pride for I still remember that once , in his years of
innocence and wonder, he LOOKED my way.He really did.He said nice
things not because he had a n ulterior motive or he was confused. It
was all genuine honesty from a young boy...who was beguiled by my
charms
( hahaha! the nerve of me) After years of not hearing from him, the
fact remains that he was the first person who looked and liked me and
showed his concern...even if it was in his own screwy and childish
way.

And this one I won't forget. Several months ago, my Mom went to a
nearby drugstore to buy medicines for my dad. It turned out Marc is a
resident pharmacist in there . And to my Mom's surprise, when she got
home, she found out that Marc gave her ten extra tablets for free.
When My MOm told me about it over lunch, I felt a lump forming in my
throat and my mouth
started drying up. I had to take a few sips of water just to calm
myself. It was a casual encounter for my Mom and it was probably
just a simple act of kindness from Marc. Yet, for a moment there, it
stirred something inside of me.And it made me think of so many
questions. What if I reacted differently the moment I knew he had a
crsuh on me? What if I felt the same way? What if I didn't pretend to
have a crush on somebody to see his reaction? What if I wasn't a kid
and I had showed him more consideration? Would we be close friends
now and maybe even more than that? It just occured to me that he
might just eb the kind of guy parents would like for their daughter
to marry.
He is smart, intelligent, and courteous. I know I never really had a
crush on him . Not even the tiniest bit. Till now, I can honestly say
I don't have feelings for him. Maybe I never will. Who knows? Who
knows, too when we will keep on having this chance meetings that are
so rare and far in between? And what will happen next if all those
chance meetings are through? But then, do I really need to know the
answers to thsoe questions? I guess not. I am happy enough that every
now and then there is a memory of him and our childhood together.
What matters most is that every now and then there's Marc. And that
in itself makes him special.

2004-12-05T14:15:00.000+08:00
Ang Corny Pero...

Unfair talaga ang love kung minsan. Nasasaktan ka na niya pero mahal mo pa rin siya. At kahit na it is but natural na sumama ang loob mo sa kanya kung minsan dahil hindi ka pa rin niya gaanong pinapapansin or di sa way na gusto mo, pag naiisip mo na mahal mo pa rin siya at at kailangan niya ng friend nawawala rin ang sama ng loob mo .O di man tuluyan mawala, nangingibabaw pa rin ang pang-unawa mo sa kanya. Mas gusto mo pa rin na iparamdam sa kanya na you care kahit di niya yata yun masyadong nakikita at nararamdaman. Kahit di yata yun tumatama sa kanya. Masakit yun pero di mo pa rin siya matiis. At alam mo baka naman nagkakamali ka ng iniisip. At nalulungkot ka din para sa kanya pag pakiramdam mo malungkot din siya. At eto pa ang totoo eh... di mo makayang magalit sa kanya. Sino ba lolokohin mo, diba? At siya, alam naman niya yan eh. Matigas ang ulo mo... sobra! Di na bago sa iyo ang masabihang tanga...lalo na recently. Iba iba lang sila ng way kung pano sabihin, may dinadaan sa pangaral, may diretsahan. Pero lalo yata ikaw di mapapakali kung magkukunwari ka. Kung subject or activity sa school ang pagpigil sa feelings mo, bumagsak ka na siguro. Oo , ayaw mo din kasi eh. Ayaw mong pagtawanan pero naiisip mo may magagawa ba ang sinumang tatawa sa ginagawa mo para mapasaya ka? Kahit naman bigyan ka nila ng pera mababawasan ba nila ang lungkot pag pinipigil mo nararamdaman mo sa kanya? Basta maramdaman niya lang na importante siya sa iyo at maparamdam mo sa kanya sa kahit anong paraan na andiyan ka para sa kanya. Kasi oo kaya mo naman na mabuhay na wala siya... pero kelangan mo ring tanggapin pag ganun na it will be the kind of life na di na kasing-saya ng dati. Na may kulang na at hahanap-hanapin mo. Kung nabibili nga lang ba ang kaligayahan eh. Kaya nga gusto mo yung maunawaan ka sana niya. Even if di niya kayang maramdaman what you feel para sa kanya, at least wag niya ikakasama ng loob or ikakainis na ganito feelings mo para sa kanya. Wag niya rin sanang pagtawanan. Martyr ba? Wag siya mag-alala dahil kaya mo at sabi MO nga mas malulungkot ka if mapipigilan ka. No one said life is fair, diba? You win some, you lose some. Nakakakot sabihin at mas nakakatakot maramdaman....pero may kahalong saya din. Ang corny pero mahal mo siya.

2004-12-03T22:27:00.000+08:00
Rock Bottom or In Circles?

I wonder, is there really what we call "rock bottom"? Sometimes, don't you get this feeling of being so down that it occurs to you that you couldn't be possibly be more down than you already are? That is until something happens and before you realize it you've hit another all-time low in your life. If that is the case, how then do you pull yourself up? What do you use as a springboard to propel yourself higher? To a certain extent, I believe how high one goes has something to do with one's choice of how he/she will let things affect him or her. I am aware that problems come and we cannot just get rid of them in a snap . Perhaps, though, they sometimes become bigger because we allow them to emotionally weaken us. In my case, though, I don't see it as going down but more like going round in circles. I can't say that circumstances in my life are getting worse. I just have not resolved some issues that are present in my life. I enjoy the spin and the high I get from them, mindless of how they also make me drowsy or how they sent me in an emotional tailspin. And bringing someone along for the ride is crazy, I know. There is fun , and then there's going overboard. My birthday is coming up soon and I wish have enough money to buy the material things that I want but since I don't, I think that breaking bad habits ( to improve myself and my relationships with other people) and acquiring a more positive attitude will be a good gift to give myself.

2004-12-03T13:51:00.000+08:00
By Threes

first, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, a song or an album

then ask me 3 questions, no more, no less.
ask me anything you want.

then go to your journal, copy this same post allowing your friends to ask you anything; say that you stole it from me.

I stole this from Kiko

2004-12-03T13:03:00.000+08:00
The Moon And The Stars

I love going to my brother's house in Antipolo. In there , the stars are brighter and more visible, the moon seems closer. Whenever I go there, I make sure I whisper to the night sky my fervent wishes and thoughts. It has become my friend, my confidante. That is why whenever I go back to our house , I feel a certain pang of loneliness. In here, I feel like the moon and stars are so far again. Nevertheless, I take time to look at them. Whenever I am on my way home from work, I would take pictures of the moon although the result isn't really that amazing for me to keep. I also like it when the moon is full ( or near full) and it creeps up my bedroom window at night. It is so beautiful, its glow just right. We do have binoculars so I am going to get it out of my Mom's closest for some moon and stargazing. It has been on my mind and I look forward to doing just that.

2004-12-02T14:20:00.001+08:00

Manonica Online

A dear friend of mine celebrated her birthday last November 22. We may not be that close and in the past year ( or two ) have lost touch but my respect and admiration for her has never wavered up to this day. She is somebody truly beautiful inside and out! She is also very warm and caring and you can sense the sincerity in her. She is none other than
Mano. You can also call her Monica or Manonica if you wish.

Vee made a website for her as a birthday present. It is really nice, and there are birthday hollers there from her friends ( ehem! lol!), and her sweetie. The entire site is worth checking out. The first page alone is in itself a beauty to behold. So , go check it out at
Manonica Online. I am a nice (?) person but I will resent it if you won't give it minutes of your time. lol!

You won't regret it coz the site is about a nice person, made by another nice person. *wink*

2004-12-01T15:22:00.000+08:00
A Sincere "I'm Sorry"

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

to YOU
( you know who you are), I am very sorry for jumping into conclusions. I know you've heard it so many times before from me and this is not an attempt to explain things. I know explanations will only put to waste how sorry I am. It's like trying to justify what I have done when I know I have been wrong in being hasty with my thoughts. So again, I have no explanations. A sincere sorry is all that I am giving. I wouldn't use my blog for this but I believe this situation calls for it.It must be tiring for you to hear it over and over again and I do hope someday that in my own way I will be able to bring a smile to your face, and definitely less of frowns. It may not seem like it but I am working on that because it matters to me to hear you laugh and to feel the smile from your heart. Thank you for still not giving up on me though I know you are close to doing just that. Aside from my family, you are one of the few who has so much patience and reminders for me. You are indeed a family to me. Again, I am sorry. I acknowledge my faults, my lack of trust in you, every weakness that affects our friendship. And I am working my way towards being a better friend to you. It is taking some time but I assure you that in the long run you won't be disappointed in me.

Written On The Australian Sky

And I called up some Aussies for help in getting my point across, and they declared it The National Sorry Day. Friendly people they are.
Even this baby and this little girl felt sorry, too. Been taught well by their folks to be careful not to hurt or make anyone feel bad. And they sure know the value of a sincere "Sorry"

And even this puppy stuffed toy has a sad look on its face.

2004-11-28T17:29:00.000+08:00
Eve's Playground
~ moonflower ~

My name is Eve
My garden you have stepped into
A ground for you to play on
Taste the apple...
feel the juice ooze out of it
Take a nibble
Fancy a bite
Let the mighty serpent rise
Be strong, proud, demanding
Come inside the rainforest
Roam and spread the seeds
Slither onto moist, fertile ground
Hiss upon the swaying leaves
And let the venom trickle
Let it seep in the rising crevice
heaving with the wave that touches it
The liquid will fill the cleft to the brim
But don't let it spill, contain it in.

2004-11-23T01:32:00.000+08:00
Will I Be Receiving A Gift From Santa?

Are you NASTY or NICE?

You do the nice thing MOST of the time - even though sometimes you'd like to be a bit more selfish. Your friends know they can rely on you but you can be a little fickle so they don't always confide in you as much as they might want to.

2004-11-21T16:35:00.001+08:00

From Deep Within
moonflower

The darkened room burned when there was emptiness
The music played where then was no melody to hear
The eyes looked when no sight was to behold
The mind understood when nothing was clear
The heart thumped when there was nothing to feel but pain
The wind whispered into the night when lovers were gone

The youth fought when everything seemed hopeless
Underpaid workers toiled when their hands were scorned
The pious prayed on their knees when the earth was crumbling down
The brave fought when blood of innocents blanketed the streets
Somewhere in the land,a mother agonized for her dear baby to be born
Somwhere in the night,a child wished for peace upon a falling star.

Amidsts all the downfalls of life there is a force that guides us
In our hearts is a passion that matches our own weaknesses and fears
No matter how fragile and vulnerable we think we are
Hiding inside us is a strong person that we can rely on
Remember that when we are hit by a strong gust of wind
From deep within us shall arise a solid wall
A surge of strength to back us up before we fall.

2004-11-19T13:47:00.000+08:00
The Trees Series

First off, I made these with the use of Adobe Photoshop. And my "skills" in it are that of a beginner's so just bear with me. Hihi! I was my usual self, thinking of how to be creative and all , and that's when I came up with the idea of tinkering with this tree picture that I took weeks ago while on the road near The Fort area. I am not sure if there's a difference among the pics. I hope there is coz I worked on them till the wee hours of the morning for a few days in a row( i mean it...hihi) . Constructive criticisms are DEFINITELY welcome. Just click on a picture to see its enlarged version.

This is the original picture...for your reference.

With the picture on the left, I was trying to make it look like it is already early in the evening but could not do it ( at least not yet) so that's what I ended up with. For effect, I added that bright light to it. I dunno what it is like to you, but I hope you like it. To the right, it is the same picture and I only did one thing to alter it: very easy to tell what the difference is so I won't discuss it anymore.

The two pictures above are almost the same , only the colors are different.I tried to create the effect that the trees are no longer planted by the sidewalk but on a hill of some sort. The "hill" ( or what I hope looks like a hill or a landscape) is actually the wall from the original picture. For the picture on the left, I wanted to make it look like late afternoon, when the sun is about to set. I don't know if I got itthat well, because I feel the sky should have had a more reddish/bluish glow and not orange . And the sun should have been lower and not that bright ( see that glow on the top right? That's the sun)nevertheless I like this picture and the combination of the colors orange and green.
For the picture on the right, I also like it. It looks calming. I guess the light added to the effect. I wasn't trying to come up with anyhting in particular for this picture but looking at it now, it evokes a serene and calm feeling. Like it just rained or something and then the sun just peeked out from the clouds for a bit. Hihi! What do you think?
With the picture on the left, I like it because of the colors. Looks a bit citrusy to me. And I like it that it is a bit blurry and smudged. To me, it looks like there's quite a strong gust of wind that swayed the trees , or that you are inside a fast-moving vehicle. Like you were moving along with it.Click on the picture to see the bigger version and perhaps you will see what I mean. For the one on the right, it looks a bit wintry to me. The trees and the lines look like ice to me. How about you, what do you think?

This one was very easy to do. I like it because of the way everything glows and swirls amidst a black background.

2004-11-16T13:33:00.000+08:00
Dreams Are Made Of This

A few days ago I had a chat with Kiko. Finding out that he has the "gift" of dream interpretation, I asked him if he could interpret this dream I had about a month ago. It was something that really bothered me at that time. Anyway, coming to Kiko for help proved to be a good decision ( naks!) . Let us just say, I was "enlightened" after it all. I was amazed and the word clarity came up ( haha man u owe me.or maybe i'm d one who owes you... lol!) . Anyway,to give you a better idea of how it happened , here's a transcript of that chat ( at least some parts of it) :

ME:how did you know stuff like that?

Kiko: its a gift my dear.

ME: : so can i ask u abt a particular dream I had?

Kiko:sure. tip though,dont mention names

ME :yeah no names at all

ME: I entered this really dark house and it was spooky so i wanted to get out right away but there were many doors (one after d other)before i was able to get out of the house. And then when I got outside the sky was gloomy and then there was a black car and I got scared coz I felt it was following me so i fled until I got to a place wid many people...like the area between megamall a and b and then I saw lady traffic enforcers and i thought of wearing a disguise..but that was when d dream ended.
ME:: see that could be another dream pero it seemed just one long dream to me.
Kiko: having a long dream by itself means something already. It's something you've been dealing with for quite some time now. You willingly entered a dark house (I presume you did willingly so) means you entered into something (a situation,a relationship)you either know or subconsciously know is wrong or harmful but nonetheless you entered because you wanted to.
ME : *blush*

Kiko : now you are in it, you then saw the bigger picture that you basically screwed yourself so you are now (maybe you "were", depende sa yo) trying to get out of .The problem is/was it took time/ taking time to get out of the mess you got into.

ME: : hm

ME: :yeah.I felt nga parang nabtin yung dream or maybe hangang dun lang talaga yun.
Kiko
: OR you know you are doing something wrong and you want others to think that you are trying to get out of it, but the "many doors" means you are just stalling. you actually like being wrong, or maybe you are enjoying whatver wrong you are doing.
ME: *blushes even more*

Kiko:black car = guilty conscience hence, following you
ME: oh man... ur good at this. i didnt even think about it dat way.

Kiko:
being in a place with a lot of people if they are not paying
attention to you, that means you actually have friends around
you, that you are trying to get their attention for help,
pero not explicitly. tipong screaming for attention pero
you're not really doing anything. then that disguise idea you
are hoping to try to fix the problem, but with another
potential problem.
ME:oh...OH

Kiko: then lastly, that bitin feeling means you know what you are supposed to do, you know what could happen, but you wont make that move.

Kiko:so, how would you rate me?

: man!
haha
galing!
ME: when i had dat dream i was just plain scared.

Kiko: dreams are stuff you already know, but scared to admit to yourself.

Kiko: alam mo yon, when there are stuff you dont want to say kase if you say it out loud, it confirms that it's real.
ME: yup
Kiko: told you it's a gift.
ME: haha. u shld be paid.lol.but really... galing. mas may clarity ngayon.

Kiko: these are things you already know, tina, you just needed someone to say it to you.

Kiko: anytime, girl

Kiko: pagkalat mo na

Hahahahaha! If you become popular, don't forget me.

Thanks ,Kikx!

2004-11-11T01:20:00.000+08:00
Wanna-be Photographer

I am not a professional photographer but I must admit I do wanna really get into it a as a hobby. If only my hands aren't so shaky when I am already taking pics. Anyway, the pictures below were taken last October 30 ( my Dad's birthday) and I just used the built-in camera in my mom's cellphone. Just click on the pictures to see their expanded versions.

The fountain area in Fort Santiago

On the road inside a moving vehicle in The Fort area

Same as the picture above only this one shows a motorcyclist passing by

In Fort Santiago. Oh look there's a dustpan. hihi!

The entrance or gate to the main area of Fort Santiago

I had difficulty taking a picture of this coz it is really huge and I was trying to make do with my mom's cellphone...that and my skill as a beginner. *blush*

A calesa or horse carriage . This gives a tour of the Fort Santiago garden area

2004-11-08T15:02:00.000+08:00

To Speak Thy Name
~ moonflower ~

To speak thy name
is to know thy sweetness
My mind beckons thee closer
In my heart, thou is lodged
In eros, in agape
Desiring thee, loving thee

To speak thy name
is to be fostered in thy loving arms
Thou bring a sense of calm with the thoughts thy evoke
And I wish to bathe thee with certainty
In ardor, in actualization
Leaving a trail of bliss, of utter perfection

I know thy name as I know mine
I whisper it to the morning sun as the day unfolds
I beat it to the moon as its coppery glow jewels the nightsky
The stars know thy name comprises every wish I make
Like a song, it comes naturally to me
Like the river, thy name flows so fluidly
Unbridled zeal of passion, unparalled poetry,
To speak thy name.

~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

Give Me The Key(Or Let Me See You Again)

His face was one of those in the crowd, among the trees and the flowers in the park.
Absorbed in the world of make-believe, he was reading as I came by.
He must have sense it as I came closer to the bench where he was seated but if he did he showed no sign.

May I sit here with you? Would that be fine?
Certainly.I wouldn't mind.

That's what he said as he glanced my way.
Then a million questions came into mind.

Do you know how beautiful your eyes are?
Have you ever looked in the mirror and seen the gentle way you stare?

The music of the summer afternoon became him.
The sun brightened the soft contours of his face.

If I would tell you a secret would you believe me?
I recognize your face, I have seen it before and I am seeing it for the first time.
Would it be fine that in a moment my heart you captured so easily?
Would you believe that with your quiet demeanor and the air of contentment that surrounds you I feel free?

Could I see your face more often?
Would you mind, I 'd like to walk this park with you and open the door toyour life if you'd give me the key?
Or at least tell me you'd back tomorrow and I'd see you again.

The trees swayed to the wind .
They have seen it a number of times before.
They have recgonized it in us when we walked by.
We talked and talked.
I laughed and cry. He laughed and cry
And he showed me his thoughts on love and beauty.
Of trusting, and taking chances.
As the night fell on us
I was sure I fell in love with him.

Could you tell what the smile on my face means?
Could you tell it is about you?

The music of the summer night became us.

Would you mind I'd like to walk out this park with you
Let me open the door to your life, please give me the key.
Or at least come back tomorrow...
Let me see you again.

2004-11-03T16:20:00.000+08:00
On My Own(from "Les Miserables")( sniff sniff)
Eponine
(Alain Boublil/Claude-Michel Schönberg)

And now I'm all alone again,
Nowhere to turn, no-one to go to,
Without a home, without a friend,
Without a face to say hello to.

And now the night is near, now I can make
Believe he's here.

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping.
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping.
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head.

On my own,
Pretending he's beside me.
All alone, I walk with him till morning.
Without him
I feel his arms around me,
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me.

In the rain the pavement shines like silver,
All the lights are misty in the river.
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight,
And all I see is him and me for ever and forever.

And I know it's only in my mind,
That I'm talking to myself and not to him.

And although I know that he is blind,
Still I say there's a way for us.

I love him
But when the night is over,
He is gone, the river's just a river.
Without him the world around me changes,
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers.

I love him
But everyday I'm learning.
All my life I've only been pretending.
Without me his world will go on turning,
A world that's full of happiness that I have never known.
I love him, I love him,
I love him, but only on my own.

2004-11-01T13:07:00.000+08:00
My Sweethearts
Last Saturday was my Dad's birthday and the whole family went out on a roadtrip of some sort.Of course, my nephew Lance ( i used to call him Butchie, short for butchukoy, as a baby . Up to this day I still do. Why? When he was younger he was chubby and his face and arms were like marshmallows) and niece Athena ( whom I fondly call cheeky coz she really had puffy cheeks when she was a baby. Like Lance, she was chubby and her face so round. hihi!)

We passed by the NBC Tent, Market Market, the business hub that is Makati (specifically along Ayala-Buendia area), the Baywalk area, Intramuros and then we went inside Fort Santiago and then later on got in touch with the kids in us at Star City ( weee!). By the way, I took this picture of my sweethearts Lance and Athena while we were inside the van along The Fort area. Just to give you an idea how sweet they could be, Athena said to me as we were having dinner in Star City,
" Tita, ikaw pinakamaganda sa maganda" and a while ago Lance said ( he is spending his sembreak with us) I am the pinakamatalino sa matalino. Awww shucks...Such honest, bright, sweet, and lovely kids they are. Hihi!

Lance and Athena giving one of their sweetest smiles

Athena striking a pose

I took this picture of Athena at Fort Santiago. I really love her and I am becoming more and more proud of her by the day. She used to be quite a snob but she is now such a darling. And like her Tita ( ehem!),she poses well. As a kid, I remember myself really posing and projecting infront of the camera. lol! I am also proud of her because she is doing well in school. And she's also well-behaved. With us, she can be "magulo" but in school she is just quiet. However when her teacher asks her a question, she almost always has the correct answer. Also she is so eager with schoolwork that she even volunteers to do Lance's assignment. Hihi! Lance, on the otherhand, is the more artistic one. He likes singng and he can carry a tune well. He is also into coloring, making "stuff" out of paper and with whatever he can get his hands on, and drawing.He is really creative and active. I remember, before they moved to their new house in Antipolo and was still living with us, Lance would always take charge of entertaining guests in our house. He would even serve them juice. All done with glee.

2004-10-24T13:04:00.000+08:00
Just To Sometimes Be Hugged...err... Just To Be Hugged Sometimes ( lol!)

I miss being hugged. I miss the warm, fuzzy feeling a sincere hug could give. I miss moments when I would just be sitting in a corner and a friendly face would approach me, and would reach out to envelop me in his or her arms. No words would be said. Instant recogniton would be written in our face and eyes. Within the moment of hugging someone, no one would have to be wiser. Or stronger. Or better at this or that. No struggle. No competition...especially with myself . I wouldn't have to put on a tough facade, or an aloof stance, or be in a corner just by myself again as how it has been for some parts of my life. At least not for a few seconds.

It was never my intent but I guess I have always been used to observing and being the quiet one. I prefer to express myself with the use of a pen. I admit I don't reach out too quickly and I guess that makes people not want to get close to me. But because of my penchant for singing and dancing ( although i'm a so-so dancer) and expressing myself and my opinion for people to hear, there were a number of times when the spotlight was on me and I enjoyed them.Deep inside I am a ham. I do like it. But after all that, I tend to go back to my own corner . And then I would ponder on a number of things. I just sometimes wish that being exposed to others wouldn't have to be so lonely. Being quiet could get sad at times but sometimes it is lonelier and more cruel to be in a crowd. One thing about doing things that I like, some of them would involve the risk of being under public scrutiny. People would see me and would think that in that brief moment they saw the spotlight on me , they know me all too well.

And why the mention of these things? It is because I have realized that whether I am in a crowd or by myself, I know it wouldn't be so bad if I could just give and receive a hug. Find solace in it. In a few seconds or in a minute, the world would be muted... like things would be hushed by a blanket of snow. The dreamer and active me, my aspirations and the thoughts of the others around me would co-exist but for a few seconds I would simply be myself and stripped of labels and prejudice. Even the "loner" part of me would dissolve, at least for the time being. I would only have myself and the other person reaching out to me, being aware only of the simplest things, the warmth from one person to the other, the beating of my heart, and the rising and falling of the other person's back on my palms, the meekness and beauty of it all.

2004-10-21T16:20:00.000+08:00
Let Me Show You The Way...

I am so in love with the Lacoste Touch of Pink commercial. It is the most beautiful I have ever seen in a long time!

Go to http://www.pinklacoste.com or www.lacoste.com/usa/ to see the print and tv ads with Model and Danish singer Natasha Thomas ( i swear she is so perfect for the ad!)

The tv ad as described on the Lacoste website:

" Everday day is filled with moments of pleasure and delight. TOUCH OF PINK is the spirit of feminine vitality that brings them to life: a kindled sensibility to the hundred happy chances in a day. This is the essence of the TOUCH OF PINK television campaign.

It is a simple story. A girl walks down a boulevard early one spring morning. She does not seem to be going anywhere in particular, just enjoying the sunlight and the sheer pleasure of moving about the city. Just then a shadow flits acrosss her face: it is a kite, floating in the breeze. She tries to catch it but it flies away, and on a sudeen whim she follows in pursuit. With a hip, a skip, a hop, a dash- off she goes, wherever it may lead. In the end she does not catch the kite, but what does it matter? The fun has been in the chase, and her adventure has been its own reward.
( oh so true!)"

And here is the lyrics to the song ( or at least parts of it) in the tv ad that just mesmerizes me whenever I hear it:

" Let me show you the way
It's a game that we play
Oh everyday so easy
Let me show you the way
Or just say what you say so easily
In the game of a heart, you know that
I know that you are mine. "

2004-10-17T13:33:00.000+08:00

What's New

Yinyang henna tattoo inside the sun ( really cool so I will get a permanent one later!)

Another henna tattoo somewhere ( that's all I can say. lol!) .It is a butterfly
( don't look like one... don't like it much) and underneath is my nickname.

I got a new haircut at Fix Bench Salon.I really like it! . I told the stylist to give me a stylish haircut that would look good on me and he did it! Seldom do I show satisfaction for my haircut so you know I really am happy with it. It is still long but there is something about it that I like. You will see the difference better if in person. I also had my hair colored. It is now reddish brown....something like that.

More importantly, I am trying on a different and more mature outlook towards love, heartbreaks, friendship, trust, respect, and all the idiosyncrasies in me and other people.I am working on being a stronger person in fighting off destructive behavioral patterns, and being more worthy of respect from those I love and most importantly respect from me. I know I may have a haircut that totally rocks and still not have the courage to face myself in the mirror if I don't like the person I have become inside. Some people may say hurtful things about me , and some may be encouraging ( and I highly appreciate them and their concern.... so much!)but this is my battle. It is not that easy...and sometimes I get angry and frustrated I just want to throw in the towel. Sometimes I wonder, where are the days when doing good is the easiest thing to do? But everytime I feel like giving up I remind msyelf it only takes one act to deviate from what I am doing and lose it altogether so I have to keep the fight. I have to be wiser in making decisions and choices, in choosing whom to trust myself and my private thoughts and wishes with because there are many out there who can and will pretend to care, and less of those who are true.
I am glad I am blessed with the choice as to whom to trust and be open with regarding the most private things about myself and my life. And I am practicing that choice right now. I don't regret it. I am comfortable and glad about my decision because something is telling me it is the right thing. I couldn't be more right. They don't ask me to give them trust or anything in return for the faith they put in me. They leave the choice to me as to what I can give and not give them. To them, what is most important is that I do something because it is for my own good. If I give back something to them it is because I want to, it is of my own free will to give what I can give, and not because I feel I have to do it. Those who are true are the people who are not giving up on me even when I feel like giving up on myself. People who standby me. Their ways may vary in showing ther care for me and they may have been, at one point or another, an object of my doubt but I eventually I knew they are for real. And I would not want to offend these people by taking for granted their reminders. These people have their own lives and yet they have somehow made me and my life their concern and that means a whole lot to me. They are my strength, and they always tell me that there is nothing so big we can't face them together. So I am doing it for them. I love them. And I am doing it for myself. I love me.

2004-10-14T13:29:00.000+08:00
How to know if you're an 80s child

from http://www.megsplace.com/TimeWarp/child.html

You're an 80's child if... (and I've highlighted in pink the ones that especially apply to me)

- You had a crush on one of the New Kids on the Block members
(medyo....liked Jordan Knight)
- You wanted to be on StarSearch.
- You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off. Or
even when he had those freaky eyes in "Thriller" at the end of the video.
- You wore a banana clip or one of those slap on wrist bands at some point during
your youth.
- You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off."
( I remember this from The Karate Kid so I guess pwede na rin. lol!)

- You can name at least half of the members of the elite "Brat Pack."
- You hold a special place in your heart for "Back
to the Future."
- You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.
- You fell victim to 80's fashion: big hair, crimped, combed over to
the side, and you wore spandex pants (a bit!)
- You've heard of Garbage Pail Kids.
- You knew "The Artist" when he was humbly called "Prince."
(a little bit ulit)
- You ever wore flourescent -neon if you will clothing...or nailpolish)
- You could breakdance, or wished you could.
- You remember when ATARI2 was a state of the art video game system
(somehow)
- You know all the words to "ice ice baby".(not all the words
but i know the song.)
- You remember M.C hammer.
- You own any cassettes.
- You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.
- You remember and/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from
Pizza Hut (awww shucks! we didnt have that here...i
think.wish I do but I only had the figurine panini carebears sticker book.
anyway, marking this pink just because. :D)
- Poltergeist freaked you out.
- You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.

- You wanted to communicate with some being named Cinergy, or you wanted green
hair like that lead singer of the Misfits.
- You ever had a Swatch Watch.
- You actually spent countless hours trying to perfect the care-bear stare.
- You had WonderWoman or Superman underoos.
- You Believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!"
- You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.

If you can identify with at least half of this list then you, my friend, are a "Child of the 80's." We all remember something special about this time, submit your own reasons to know that you are definetly an 80s child! Here is what some people had to say:

- You ever mismatched your clothes in a vain attempt to emulate "Punky Brewster"
- You remember when a singer having only one big hit was normal.
- You remember when it stopped being fashionable to pull your socks up to your
knees
- Your mother ever warned you about eating Pop Rocks and drink Coke together
- You know how to tease your bangs straight up
- Mr. Hooper's death on Sesame Street profoundly affected you
- You remember the battle between Macho Man, Hulk Hogan, and Andre the Giant
- Two words: Lite Bright
- You know how to make "Friendship bracelets"( or at least I
knew how to)
- When you see the show "Charmed" you have a hard time seeing Alyssa Milano as
anyone else but "Sam"
- You can hum the theme song of the Super Mario Brothers Nintendo game
- You knew Madonna back when she was fairly normal
- You had one arm covered in bangles - silver or jellie gummie style
- You used pink can AquaNet hairspray
- You had a jean jacket, jean purse or jean bookbag (acid-wash, of course!)
- You liked the smell of Strawberry Shortcake Miniatures
- You had to take part in a slum book
- You wore Converse
- You always wondered why Alf could not have fallen in to "your" back yard
- You had all the different types of playdough
- Your ponytail was on the side of your head and you thought you were "hip"
- You can't see a rainbow without thinking of Care Bears or Rainbow
Brite.
- You thought guys with big hair & hawaiian print shirts were cute
(more like fun!)
- You watched She-rah and/or He-Man
- You had little mirrors on your socks and denim jackets
- You collected monster in my pocket figurines
- You remember watching Jem and Rainbow Brite & wishing you were a part of their
world
- You remember what all the hype was about with Dungeons and Dragons
(medyo lang!My Mom didn't want us to play D&D coz people were
saying it is evil. hmmmm...)
- You even watched the D&D cartoon to see if the kids ever got home
- You didn't know a thing about computers but could whoop bowser's butt playing Mario
- You watch Sabrina on TGIF and remember when she played
Clarissa on Nickelodeon( but then I only got to watch Clarissa year 2000 na eh.
- You have ever owned any New Kids, Vanilla Ice, or MC Hammer memorabilia
- You remember when all that was on PBS was Sesame Street and Mister Rogers
- You watched the amazing adventures of spiderman & plasticman on saturday mornings
- You remember when McDonald's sandwiches came in styrofoam boxes
- You remember when the original gameboy from nintendo came out
- You had mass quantities of toys and stuffed animals that pertained to tv shows
- You remember when they added McDonalds and a Silver 'Vette to Barbie's line of toys
- You remember the ultimate 80's movie, ET
- You remember when Pepsi was the choice of a new generation
- You remember when happy meals came in boxes (dito naman sa Pinas in boxes talaga eh)
- You wanted to be a part of Barbie and the Rockers
- You knew what good toons were before anime
- You know that Snorks are underwater Smurfs and not an aquatic breathing device.
- You know that the Shredder isn't just something your mother makes salad with
- You can name all the Thundercats ( I only vaguely remember Cheetara, Lion-O, and the sibs Wilykat and WilyKit)
- You know the real words are Karma Chameleon, not Comma Chameleon(i didnt till
i got older)
- You can still remember the ninja turtle names and colors
(of course!leonardo-blue, michaelangelo-orange, raphael-red,donatello-violet)
- You remember when Polly Pocket actually fit in your pocket
- You have seen a picture of or seen an actual Sega Master System
- You feel that Power Rangers are a gross rip-off of Voltron
(once or twice , yes the thought came to mind but i wouldn't use the word gross
coz i used to watch PR too)
- You remember that the original Megatron turned into a tank
- You can remember there was a time preceding SUV's
- You can still name whole lineup of the "New" Mickey Mouse Club
- You knew who to call when there was "something strange in
your neighborhood"
- You remember the words to at least 10 Holograms and/or Misfits songs
- You remember the first few My Little Pony specials
- You can recite the procedure for forming Voltron
- You had a favorite Ghostbuster
- You still think the coolest superhero movie is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
- You've downloaded the best 80s theme songs.
- You wanted your own robot sister after watching the sitcom Small Wonder
- You saw the Rainbow Brite/My Little Pony movies at least 5 times
- You think the Beast Wars simply cannot compare to the original Transformers series
- You think He-Man could easily beat all other TV strongmen
- You were ever She-Ra or Rainbow Brite for Halloween
- You appreciate the simple fun of the original Super Mario Bros. Nintendo Game.

- You read the first Baby-Sitters Club and/or Sweet Valley High book when it first
came out (but i used to read Sweet Valley High,
Twins , and College
- You prefer the simple ATARI version of Frogger over the overblown Playstation
version
- You remember when the coolest dinos were the ones on Dinoriders
- You always learned a valuable lesson at the end of each episode of GI Joe
- You've ever told someone to have a "berry" good day (a la Strawberry Shortcake)
- You remember when the hottest huggable toys around were Cabbage Patch Kids dolls
- You wanted to play Chopsticks on a piano on the floor
- You saw Splash and wanted to be a mermaid( so true!loved that movie! )
- You walked like an Egyptian
- You wanted to ride on Falcor(indeed!)
- You remember David Bowie as the Goblin King, not a singer
- You raced home from school for She-Ra and never missed the hidden creature
- You know that the higher the pony-tail the cooler it is
- You sang along to the Ninja Turtles theme song
- You had Ninja Turtles/GI Joe Pajamas
- You put on pink eyeshadow thicker than a hooker in an effort to look cool and
"adult"
- You remember Pound Puppies and all the fun spin-offs
- You wonder how many licks it really takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop
- You had a black lace madonna glove
- You remember when it was ok to have fake cigarette candy and gum
- You remember THE PARTY (mickey mouse club)
- You knew all 6 the voltron pilots
- You remember farie tale theatre
- You remember crystal pepsi
- You remember Sigmund the Sea Monster, Beanie and Cecil, and Puff the Magic Dragon
- "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both . . ."
- You still say "DYNOMIIITE!!!"
- You remember when computers were those small little things just used to type
letters
--You remember when Bart Simpson was popular.
- You owned a talking Alf doll ("give me four")
- You remember when John Cusack was in almost as many movies as Molly Ringwald
- You remember the jokes and riddles from the Giggle Patch on the Magic Garden
- You remember when the prizes were INSIDE the cereal box
- You first saw Alanis Morisette on You Can't Do That On Television, and remember it!

2004-10-12T16:01:00.000+08:00

You're a Unicorn! Unicorns are pure, innocent,
majestic creatures that have a spiraling white
horn growing out of their forehead, and a white
graceful, horse's body. Unicorns represent the
sign of purity, innocence, friendship, healing,
rejuventation, and truth. Your horn is rare
prized, but you tend to be naive, lured by a
child's cry. Unicorns are rare, beautiful and
shy mythical creatures, and you are lucky to be
one.

What Mythical Beast are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-10-11T13:26:00.000+08:00
Note to self: Zingers Out, Happy Thoughts In ( please?!)

Each one of has his or her own "thing" that he/she keeps on coming back to for some sense of enlightenment...for some " ah yeah how can I forget that?!" moment. Some turn to books, some listen to a particular song, some to his/her bestfriend. I do have my own sources of that. It just dawns on me what I need when I need it. One of them is (and don't snicker)is the movie You've Got Mail.

Today, just minutes before I started writing this, I went back to visit their website to look for this particular line in one of Joe Fox's ( Tom Hanks)e-mail to Kathleen Kelly( Meg Ryan)

Subject:
Date: 11/1/98 8:27:18 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: NY152
To: Shopgirl

" Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you and then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time and we'd both be happy?But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows..."

He could have been talking right to me because that's how I am when frustrated. Crazy thoughts would run through my head. I would often think I know everything like I actually conducted a scientific experiment. I would gather some variables and then I would wait. Wait for the results. In a few minutes I would think I pretty much have the answers and then I jump into conclusions. I mean,really jump....jump at the person I made a hasty conclusion on. I would say all the things I think and feel based on what I think I know. And I feel bad because oftentimes it is this one person out of the many people I care for that gets the "zingers" from me. And he wouldn't say anything. He would probably be feeling bad and irritated and all but he would just act nonchalantly about it. At least to me. He is the image of cool, calm, and collected. Even when angry, he would get creative about it. Nothing wasted at all on this guy coz he knows how to handle himself so well. I, on the otherhand, would belike a duck...all quacking and quacking. Hahahaha! Now I am laughing at myself. But it isn't really funny. I guess he is just used to me and my idiosyncrasies by now. Still, I wouldn't want to always be hypersensitive just because he would always understand. Someday he might just get tired of it and would decide enough is enough. I am sure I would not want that to happen.

Everytime doubts and frustration would creep in I would just have to think of lollipops and candies, rainbow colors and white-sand beaches and gorgeous hunks
(why not? lol!), of daisies and sunflowers, hugs and kisses, carousel and joyrides, of my nephew lance and niece athena, and many others. Any happy thoughts ( please tina...hehehehe!) just to keep the zingers out.

2004-10-10T13:18:00.000+08:00

Jasmine Trias...NOT!:D

Love Ko 'To

I sing of little dreams
riding melodies ever since I could speak.
Seeing smiles light up as my notes
Free spirits, caress emotions

And now a chance to be
Among my idols
who share my passion
To win a crowd of thousands
To laugh with, to belong
To touch more hearts
To share my song

Here I am , before you all
hear me now
finally I'm home
This stage and I, we're inseparable
I'm singing my song
papara papa
Love ko 'to.

This always reminds me
The life I love, I owe to my family
And no matter where my rhythm takes me
By my side is where they'll always be
And now a chance to be
Among my idols who share my passion
To win a crowd of thousands
to laugh with, to belong
To touch more hearts, to share my song.

Here I am , before you all
hear me now
finally I'm home
This stage and I, we're inseparable
I'm singing my song
papara papa
Love ko 'to
It'll never fade away
It'll never fade away.

Here I am , before you all
hear me now
finally I'm home
This stage and I, we're inseparable
I'm singing my song
papara papa
I'm singing my song
papara papa
I'm singing my , I'm singing my song
Love ko 'to.

2004-10-09T14:58:00.000+08:00
The Different Faces of a Tanga

Tama si Kiko tanga nga ako

Madramang tanga
Magandang tanga ( pagbigyan nyo na ako I am in a bitchy mood)
Matalinong tanga
Sweet na tanga

kahit ano pa yan tanga pa rin.

Powtek bat ba kasi tama ka?
Bat naman kasi siya pa?

2004-10-08T17:16:00.000+08:00
Sometimes You Just Know

I start my day thinking and waiting if it will be different from previous

days. But a few minutes into it and I realize it has been the same as it was

since that seemingly ordinary July day. That day when, amidst my boring life,

he came to bring the sunshine in. I have not been the same since. I don't know what

it is that he has that makes me feel the way I do. And I can't pinpoint what

endeared him to me not because he is devoid of something good to show. On the

contrary, he is a gem with many beautiful sides that my heart can't seem to tell for

sure which reeled it right in.

It is amazing how in his busy world with friends, he manages to still

somehow paint my world with different colors. In every smile. In every word.

When the sun peeks through the clouds, a vision of him comes right through

like a splash ofrainbow colors. When the rain falls on my parade, he gently

pulls me close to him and tells me it is alright to just sit for a while.

He reminds me that I don't have to always apologize when I just need to

take a break for awhile in order to regain the strength I need.

Sometimes, though, he and the circumstances surrounding us are the reasons

why I cry.Questions come to me and there seems to be no answer.Neither

one of us knows the answer to the whys. It is when it hurts knowing I

want to understand with what I know, small they maybe, and feeling

inadequate in trying to do so. I get this feeling like it is taking me

awhile to grow into the bond we have. And at times I feel like giving

up for I feel I am weaving sadness and doubt into the friendship we

have, something I absolutely do not want for it. But it is proving

to be a worse idea to give up on something that has made a meaning of

itself. What we have already has a life of its own.

I can be jealous, frustrated, disappointed in him and in me. There are days when

he seems to be spaced out that I cannot seem to get through him and speaking to

myself seems to be a better idea. But he snaps out of whatever reverie he is in

after a short while and he comes back better ( I think) and with just the littlest

sign, if any of distraught. Things may not be already fixed but he manages to come

back. It is there again, that candid sweetmess reminding me that he hasn't really

left, he just took a break.

Of course, it is not always easy for me to accept when he is gone for days. I worry about him

and it bothers me that no matter how I express my concern for him, he seems to be

bent in staying in that corner he is in. But day by day I am beginning to accept and

understand him.I don't take it personally anymore, at least not as much as before.

The way I see it, he is the type of guy that you either hate or love. And there is

no way I am hating this guy.

I just tell myself I have my own life to live, own tasks to face, own friends and

family to spend time with. I try to let him feel that I am not into him that much. I

make him feel that we can be in one place at the same time and I won't even be

affected by his presence at all. I let him see that my world is bigger than what I

feel for him. It should be the case anyway. I couldn't let myself be that in love

with someone that I'll make him bigger than my life. Better get that into my head.

But oftentimes, I just cannot kid myself. I know for a fact I carry this hope in me

that when he sits down for a moment I will cross his mind and he'll see someone who

has something going on for her. Who is capable of doing so many things...just as how

I see him. That is why I am trying to become better. He inspires me. I don't know

how he does it and I hope this doesn't get into his head but he has managed to be

special enough for me to see him as a part of my life. He may not be bigger than my

life but he brings something good in it anyway and he is already a part of it. No

ifs and buts about it.

Tomorrow is another day to face. I don't have a perfect clue as to what it will be like

except for one thing...that I love him. I don't regret orfeel bad that I already

know this for sure because it is like having a glimpse of the first day of the rest

of my life. I feel in my heart I will always be loving him and that's where it

becomes beautiful for me. The rest will just be like a high but leveled plateu. I

can get married someday, be a millionaire, be fulfilled to the core. But he will

always be the highest point of it all. Time may come when what I feel may evolve

into a different kind than the love I have for him right now but it will never be

less special. And I won't grow tired of him because the more I love him the more I

discover what I am good at and what I can improve on. And the more I get to know and

see him too. I believe that each day he will be bringing with him a different color

to brighten my life. He will always have a new and yet pleasantly familar way of

holding my heart in his hands. Everyday a different charm in his smile. Always

having a balance of sweetness and candor that renews itself everyday. He doesn't

even have to try. I will be falling in love with him all over again as the sun

shines over the horizon... just like the first time. And someday, even if poetry

refuses to rhyme and even if my mind begins looking for a reason that my heart does

not need, I will still love him.

2004-10-08T13:21:00.000+08:00
GUILTY PLEASURES

Jasmine Trio

Jasmine Trias is here in the Philippines right now and is the latest endorser of Mcdonald's. The trio consists of a Large Fries, Strawberry Float, and a Jasmine cd with the Mcdonald's song. I heard the song and I think it is nice. Will be posting the lyrics later.
Anyway, back to the food. really the love the strawberry float. The vanilla ice cream settled on the ice so I used the straw so Ican have them. I wasn't satisfied so I ate some of the ice with the vanilla ice cream on them. Yummy! Of course the fries are good. Too much salt though, I think.

Gosh, I want more Strawberry Float. :D

2004-10-06T16:47:00.000+08:00
MORE WORDS RELATED TO SEX

Don't worry there is no C-Z and even if there is I wouldn't be filling my blog with the entire list. A-B is too much as it is. :D

= B =

Ball dancing : bell dancing; self flagellation by hanging fruit from hooks in skin

Bardajes: young gay male lover

Barosmia: arousal from smell

Basoexia: arousal from kissing

Bath house: commercial baths, some of which allow sex on premises

Bi-Sexuality: people with sexual attraction for both sexes

Bigynist: sex between one male and two females

Bihari surgery: cutting ligament above arnis to make it appear longer

Bindings: wrapping feet or genitals with string or lace

Bivirist: sex between one female and two males

Blastolagnia: person aroused by young females

Blindfolding: covering the eyes

Body Painting: temporary designs drawn on body

Body Worship: sex game where partner is made to adore another's body

Bondage: physical or mental restriction of partner

Bordellos: houses of prostitution

Bottom: passive partner who experiences stimuli during sex games, masochist, slave, submissive

Botulinonia: using a sausage as a dildo

Bouginonia: female masturbation from the use of objects such as dildos that stretch open the mantikilya

Brachioprotic eroticism: a deep form of fisting where the arm enters the anus

Bradycubia: slow movement during penetration

Branding: burning patterns or initials into flesh

Buggery: anal sex

Bundling: partners sleeping together clothed and without sex

Bushie Mall: agoraphilia; sex in an open area

Butt plugs: anal inserts used for masturbation

*I removed some of the words and their respective definition. What you've just read has already been edited to weed out the really icky stuff.lol!

2004-10-06T14:19:00.000+08:00
WORDS RELATED TO SEX

(haha! do u know what I am thinking? don't be so sure...you could be wrong)

This is just to educate you and me. Really.

And can anyone please tell me what mantikilya is. Isn't that butter? I am sure I saw that word once or twice when I browsed through the words and their definitions.
You will also find the word arnis and I don't know what that means. Arms, maybe? And some words' meaning are way to eeeeewwwwwwww! But there are those that can be...hahahaha better not incriminate myself! *rolleyes* :D

= A =

Abduction: to kidnap or carry a person away by force, also used in sex play

Abrasions: scratching or rubbing off skin

Abstinence: celibacy

Acmegenesis: orgasm

Acomoclitic: preference for hairless genitals

Acousticophilia: arousal from sounds

Acrophilia: arousal from heights or high altitudes

Acrotomophilia: sexual preference for amputees

Actirasty: arousal from exposure to sun's rays

Acucullophallia: circumcision

Acupressure: pressure points on body that induce certain responses, some sexual

Adolescentilism: cross-dressing or playing the role of an adolescent

Adultery: having sex outside a marriage

Agalmatophilia: arousal from statues or mannequins; also called pygmalionism

Agenobiosis: married couple who consent to live together without sex

Agonophilia: person who is aroused by partner pretending to struggle

Agoraphilia: arousal from open spaces or having sex in public

Agrexophilia: arousal from others knowing you are having sex

Albutophilia: arousal from water

Algophilia: arousal from experiencing pain

Aliphineur: person using lotion to arouse partner

Alloerasty: use of nudity of another person to arouse partner

Allopellia: having orgasm from watching others engaging in sex

Allorgasmia: arousal from fantasizing about someone other than one's partner

Allotriorasty: arousal from partners of other nations or races

Alphamegamia: arousal from partner of different age group

Altocalciphilia: high heel fetish

Alvinolagnia: stomach fetish

Amatripsis: masturbation by rubbing labia together

Amaurophilia: preference for a blind or blindfolded sex partner

Amomaxia: sex in a parked car

Ambisexual: bi-sexual

Amelotasis: attraction to absence of limb

Amelotation: loss of a limb

Amphisexual: bi-sexual

Amychesis: act of scratching partner during sexual passion

Anaclitism: arousal from items used as infant

Analinctus: licking anus

Analingus: rimming or penetration of anus with tongue

Anasteemaphilia: attraction to taller or shorter partners

Androgyny: having both male & female characteristics

Androgynophilia: bi-sexual

Androidism: arousal from robots with human features

Andromania: nymphomania

Androminetophilia: arousal from female partner who dresses like male

Androsodomy: anal sex with a male partner

Anililagnia: arousal from older female sex partner

Anisonogamist: attraction to either older or younger partner

Anocratism: anal sex

Amomaxia: sex in parked car

Anomeatia: anal sex with a female partner

Anophilemia: kissing anus

Antholagnia: arousal from smelling flowers

Anthropomorphism: attributing human characteristics to half-human half-animal characters

Apellous: circumcision

Aphallatia: celibacy

Aphrodisiacs: drugs stimulating a sexual response

Apistia: adultery

Arrhenothigmophilous: nymphomania

Arsometry: anal sex

Artificial insemination: deposit of sperm into the mantikilya by methods other than male penetration of the mantikilya

Asceticism: religious self-denial often including celibacy

Asthenolagnia: arousal from weakness or being humiliated

Astyphia: impotence

Asynodia: celibacy particularly due to impotence

Auctions: public sale with item or sex slave going to highest bidder

Autagonistophilia: exhibitionism, arousal from exposing naked body or genitals to strangers while on stage or while being photographed

Autogynephilia: arousal from crossdressing

Automasochism: arousal from inflicting intense sensations or pain on one's own body

Autoerotica: self induced arousal (i.e. fantasies or other aids)

Automysophilia: arousal from being dirty or defiled

Autonepiophilia: infantilism; arousal from dressing or being treated like infant

*I removed some of the words and their respective definition.What you've just read has already been edited to weed out the really icky stuff.

2004-09-30T13:18:00.000+08:00

I hope he knows this is for him. But then on second thought...

BEING SO NOT FOR YOU (I HAD NO RIGHT
by P.M. Dawn

Why can't I keep you from the cold
Seem to know the different faces
No matter what road you travel on
You go through the darkest places

I can't tell the angels it'll be good
for you
But wanting to say blessed be the
darkness
For bringing the life through

But I'd be lying to myself

I had no right bringing you here
Knowing what I know, feeling the way
I feel
I had no right being so uncontent,
being so confused,
being so not for you

You're in love with all that you don't know
It animates your expectations
But what's the easiest way to hurt a man
Give him all he's ever wanted

Trying to tell the angels I don't
know what to do
While convincing myself to believe
all the sadness have purpose to
Make me hate this

I had no right bringing you here
Knowing what I know, feeling the
way I feel
I had no right being so uncontent,
being so confused,
being so not for you

And when you asked the angels to
make you a better you
Dream all you want
Cause all the light you occupy
they will try and take it all from
you

I had no right bringing you here
Knowing what I know, feeling the
way I feel
I had no right being so uncontent,
being so confused,
being so not for you.

2004-09-29T15:40:00.000+08:00
My Online Handles
( and why I chose them)

Moonflower of MTC

It is very poetic. The flower that blooms at night.
I also love the mooonflower scent of The Bodyshop. There. :)

~jewel~ of HPH

I also used this as my phone name when I was still in People Support. My other choices were Skye and ....oh I forgot the other one. Somebody was already using Skye so I wasn't able to use that. No problem, though. I love Jewel. It has something to do with her poetry. And her music,too. Like her though I have heard she can be a snob. Perhaps she has her reasons for being that way. Anyway, snob or not, who cares? It's not like we live in the same neighborhood. We don't even live in the same country. :D

Sensible Chic of Girltalk

I am a moderator there so this handle suits me fine.
I got it from watching Oprah. They had guests from the Home and Garden televisions tv show, Sensible Chic. I loved how they recreated the looks of high-end rooms and spending less than the "originals". Really smart. Thus, I was inspired to use Sensible Chic as my handle.

speedwoman

Well, I used this more for my e-mail address. It was inspired by Scott Speedman of the tv show Felicity. Did I mention he's my ex-boyfriend? Yup, that's right. What, you don't believe me? Well, that's what I expected. :D Just trying out how it would sound. lol!

Anyway, despite all the many handles I have used online and even on-air
being a radio fan (especially when I was in HS and college)rest assured that the person behind all of them are one and the same in everyway. Certain characteristics of mine are just drawn out of me more if I feel they go well with the situation at hand as well as with the traits/characteristics of the people in it.

2004-09-28T13:04:00.000+08:00
All I can say is I am sometimes guilty of this . *blush*

" People get so in the habit of worry that if you save them from drowning
and put them on a bank to dry in the sun with hot chocolate and muffins,
they wonder whether they are catching cold. "
~John Jay Chapman

2004-09-27T13:47:00.000+08:00
PUDDLE
( will you even get to read this?)

I was eating my lunch of skyflakes and luncheon meat (blech!) just minutes ago and this message comes thru YM and my cellphone: " Dont leave PLEASE. That much i know i WANT and NEED."

Uh oh...tears welling up! Reminds me of how good and at the same time difficult life can be. I mean, the struggle to keep things right and I don't think I am doing it well.

There is the battle to lose weight (well , I already have lost some but it is still ongoing) and eventually feel good about myself. Skyflakes is not exactly "fun" but I have to take it for all the times I just indulged and wallowed myself in things not healthy for me. And then, there you are as well. I care for you tremendously and I just wanna be happy for you and I love your ways , but they also tear me up inside. And I feel , if I love you and what you do there must be no ifs and buts about it. I know I cannot expect you to give yourself to me and me alone when there are a number of people out there who needs to be as blessed as I am. And the guilt of wanting you all to myself eats me up. I cannot hold you as tight I do.I don't want you to suffocate. I want you to breathe. I want you to fly.
So, the thought of leaving has occurred to me a number of times. I didn't even want to say it... like I would just slowly and quietky ease out of your life. But then I also think, I owe it to you and to the friendship to do it properly. Saying goodbye,I surmised, is for my own good as well as yours. If I will be selfish in loving you, is that even love? And where is the glory in getting what I want if the other person is being held back? So I told you as it is...that my strength to stay in your life is failing me. I wouldn't want to think of understanding it as work, because it isn't. But it does get to be difficult at times.

I absolutely didn't know how you would react, if you would even react at all. I took the leap, anyway. I just knew it would be worth it if it will make things alright.Since when did I care about doing the right thing? I don't know when, really. I just know I care.

Then your text messages came. Was that you pleading? I dunno. The words melted me, anyway. But as I said in reply, I guess I am not TOTALLY leaving but I do need to keep my emotions in check. I need time....and I need for you to understand. Somehow, I think you do.Thanks. In hindsight, I don't think I can really leave you and the good friendship we have inspite of me , you, and everything surrounding us. It is just a matter of tweaking some areas that need it. :)

And oh, I already told you of your missent text message, right? It was supposed to be for a common friend of ours. Geesh, you just had to squeeze that "mistake" in and make me smile. And then when I told you about it you gave me this reply " =S " which as I told I didn't understand. Silly you! But then, so am I.

2004-09-26T11:57:00.000+08:00
PASSIVE OR ACTIVE?

There are two different ways to love, either you are active or passive about it. Past experiences (and present) tell me for sure I am more of the active one. I have to be able to let it all out there and have the world know. I don't hold myself back from loving if there is something to give. But I am learning that perhaps I must learn to love passively. Honestly, I don't know how to deal with keeping my feelings inside because I do wear my heart on my sleeves. You will just know when I am so into someone. But it does suck, at times. The next thing I know my feelings already has a life of its own.
It stays awake at night even when I need to sleep. It just keeps on ballooning and sometimes it is just way in my face and I’m in way over my head coz of his feeling. Whereas if I will be passive in loving, I will just be here and probably happy (?) just to see him smile. He can be charming the pants off anyone ( literally?) and I would be the contented and ever supportive ally to him. I would be loving him quietly in one corner without yearning for something in return. I just think that perhaps the more I give and et my love put there, the bigger the need for me to be loved back the way I want to be loved. I always tell myself I must not expect anything in return and I lie awake for most parts of every night convincing myself it is the right thing but whom am I kidding? It damn f*cking hurts. So I don’t know, yeah, I guess I would just give this passive kind of loving a try. So not me, I tell you. I might develop withdrawal symptoms from holding myself back and loving meekly. Imagine, no poems, no love songs, no text, no mushy expressions of love…. nada!

For once I would be loving sanely, my feet planted firmly on the ground, no need to snap me out of reverie and daydreaming.

But what is love if not sweet and exhilarating? What would be the sense in loving if one is holding back?

Uh oh…. can I manage this challenge I put myself in? Passive… ugh! Really so not me.

2004-09-26T11:25:00.000+08:00
I Desire, Therefore I Am

" I know no end to desiring you.
But why should I seek to end it?
I carry a picture of you in my
head like some precious object.
I was happy for days. So why
should I seek to end this when
what makes me happy rests solely
on you? "

~ Roland Barthes

2004-05-05T13:49:00.000+08:00
STRAWBERRY BANANA SPLIT MCFLURRY

I have only tasted this twice.The first time it was love at first taste. It was like I've tasted the best dessert ever invented. Suddenly Mcdonald's didn't seem like your everyday fastfood. It was like I was in a five star restaurant wearing a beautiful gown or dress. I felt like a princess being waited on. Oh such rubbish!

Just a few minutes ago I had a burger and fries for lunch...and I made sure to buy a Strawberry Banana Split Mcflurry with it. I have been thinking about it eversince the first time. I've been longing to taste it once again... to feel its texture on my tongue and savor its sweetness. Just like along lost friend or a childhood crush I missed it so much and was eagerly awaiting for the moment to have it appeal to my senses once again.

But to my disappointment it just didn't taste the same. Yes it is still sweet ...tasting like banana and bubblegum in one. But it just wasn't special anymore. It was mediocre. I am reminded of why it is being served at Mcdonald's and not a fancy restaurant. It tasted like a science experiment..alittle bit of this and a little bit of that and you get a C...almost like failing it.

Something was definitely amiss...or someone was amiss. I realized what it was and it makes me think that perhaps even if served panna cotta from Bellini's I would not be satisfied. For some reason it was you that made the difference. Your lovely gaze from across the table with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I actually thought you were wearing a pair of contact lens...that's how amazing your eyes are to me. Your lips so healthy and reddish...like a fresh tomato from somebody's backyard. Its shape... just right. And to think that I have kissed those lips...to remember that I was once held and loved by you.
Not having you makes an otherwise amazing thing seem less appealing to me. Don't ask me why...please don't. Just know and accept that to me you defy perfection. I love you and that's all there is to it.

2004-05-03T16:29:00.000+08:00
A LETTER TO MY BOO

Dear boo,

As I write this I am in tears again ( not that it matters) because I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I knew what you wanted and I tried to give it the best way I could. I didn't want to leave your side because I remember you worrying I would leave you alone. What I didn't expect was you asking me why I kept on following you and doubting you. We were barely together for a week and of course I would think that at that point we were still establishing our relationship and our bond. How could you have grown tired of me easily? I guess I know the answer to the question. It is just that it isn't easy dealing with it , you know. I tried you know but how can I trust you when we didn't have anything to build our trust on? I would come to you in order to strike a conversation and you'd sit there quietly and would say nothing. You'd say you are not thinking of anything but I could sense it.

There's really no point in going about this over and over but I have to. I have to go through with this, you know? But I will get over you somehow. After all I made the decision to break it up. You were saying you'd think about it first but I didn't want it because I knew you were just delaying or avoiding it. That's why as much as it hurts I broke up with you. I was hoping you'd say you'd rather think about it but you didn't . I have never broken up with anyone before because I feel it is difficult to say it out loud and I don't know if I can do such a thing to someone who has become a part of my life. I might not be that emotionally strong. But I did it with you...break up though my heart was shouting NO! It's all for the better, though. That's what friends tell me and I know so. I am not seeing it right now because of how hurt I am but I will get there and be able to gently accept that we were never meant to be.

You are still young and I know in time you will grow up to be a fine man. Be happy and don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. You owe it to no one but yourself.

I LOVE YOU STILL.

2004-03-26T16:25:00.000+08:00
Missed My Blog

I can't believe how long ago was it till I last posted a message here in my blog. But as they say" Absence makes the heart grow fonder. " This is till my blog, a place here where I can be myself and so what if others don't like what they see. This is my own...this is where I can talk about myself more.

What really happened to me the time that I wasn't posting much here?

My exbf Alan and I officially broke up last February. So many reasons to point out but we are still friends. Mabe someday I will discuss this in detail. I have no boyfriend as of now but I have lots of male friends which is not something my Mom really likes. I am 26 and she still hates it that different guys call me up. hihihihi!

My brothers and I now have a computer rental shop. Business is doing good and we hope it will stay that way.

I have gained new friends...have also acquired some people who don't like me. Thething is I don't even know these people that much so I don't know why the heck they are putting me down. That's the worldwide web for you.

When I was still In PeopleSupport ( i miss it so much...especially my batchmates) , I was awarded the Most Irate e-rep award ( hahahaha...that was a joke among our batch) and the Best AHT Performer award on our graduation from Academy Bay. From then on it we were assigned to our respective teams. Two of my batchmates and I were still on the same team and same shift. I heard that they, as well as a number of other batchmates , already resigned as well. Only a few were left and they are now regulars. I hope at least one of them will stay on the company to become a Supervisor.

What else? Oh I still love music ( of course!) And well, aside from my biological family, I have also found a group on the internet that I can calla family. I have always found nice people on the net , but there are also some not so good ones. The good thing about it is when others are criticizing you, your family will step up for you. It is such a nice feeling.

2003-06-22T23:58:00.000+08:00
This is one of those songs that just make me fall in love. I mean, come on, read the lyrics... it is sappy and just wonderful. And how much more if you listen to the song? Aarrgh! I love it! I wanna be married with this as one of the songs to be played during the reception (well. this song, together with Andrea Bocelli's Someone Like You, and a few other songs.)

Anyway, so here is the song lyrics of the song I am referring to...

Edwin McCain - I Couldn't Ask for More

Lying here with you, listening to the rain.
Smiling just to see a smile upon your face.
And these are the moments I'll remember all my life.
I found all I've waited for and I could not ask for more.
Looking in your eyes, seeing all I need.
Girl, I think you are it's everything to me.
These are the moments I know heaven must exist.
These are the moments I know all I need is this.
I have all I've waited for and I could not ask for more.

[Reff:]
I could not ask for more than this time together.
I couldn't ask for more that this time with you.
Every breath has been answered. Every dream that has come through.
Yeah, right here in this moment, it's that we're all meant to be.
(Oh) here with you, here with me.

And these are the moments I thank God that I'm alive.
And these are the moments I'll remember all my life.
I've got all I've waited for and I could not ask for more.

[Repeat Reff]

I could not ask for more than the love you gave me
cos it's all I've waited for.

2003-04-30T16:47:00.000+08:00
Someone I Admire

I thought of how she is doing nowadays and Vikki told us that she is in TFC so I searched online to learn more about what she is doing. Here is what I gathered and this is for everyone that misses her voice , and her friendliness and charm . I used to hear her on 103.5 K-Lite but due to certain circumstances she resigned. I am just glad she found another place at the TFC Channel. If only we could watch her on t.v.

Anyway, here is the article:

MONICA FIGUERAS Monica Figueras

Monica Figueras, more popularly known as "Mano," has extensive exposure to different kinds of music.
Although she finished Bachelor of Science in Behavioral Science at Maryknoll College in the Philippines, her field of expertise is broadcasting particularly music programming, radio show scripting and production. This former DWRR DJ's vast experience in radio and events hosting made her adept in conducting artist interviews and news reading. Now she explores new ground as she joins fellow Video Jock Gabe Mercado in running through what Pinoy Central TV's got to offer 24 hours a day !

And here is something I wrote almost 3 years ago for Manonica ( gosh, I can't believe its been that long!) It is cheesy so feel free not read it. =)

The Lady From Another Room (can't think of another title eh)

I have seen a night of countless stars, breathtaking and eye-catching. But
the longer I look at them, the more I realize their beauty couldn't stretch on
forever. Here today, gone tomorrow. They just shine so amazingly bright that I
can't help but wonder what would be left of them tomorrow�and the days after
From where I stand, I know I am not as near to the stars as the others who live
in mansions on the mountaintops but I d o believe I get the best view of all.
Not too close and yet not too far. With this, I can look at them with awe without being blinded and losing my senses. They say stars have a purpose in one's life. I have found mine. Stars, more than their aesthetic values, are wonderful because they make me realize my meager but nevertheless important eXistenZ . After all, it is to people like me looking for her direction in life that they shine for, right? Stars don't shine mainly for the brave. They don't shine mainly for the ones on a straight narrow path. It is for someone like me, in search of her own haven in this world, that stars do what they are createdfor.

However, in my understanding of the stars' mammoth role in my climb to the
top, there are only a few people who manage to help me survive till I get
there. People who ride me with me and journey with me through life's bumpy
roads...these are the people who are not afraid to do little things for me and
with me. They smile when I smile. They sing when I sing. They allow me to be
there for them and vice versa. And there are people who simply gush and melt
with me as I talk about the near-perfect species of the opposite gender that
has caught my eyes. As simple as the last characteristic I mentioned maybe, it
is actually not everyday when I find someone who's glad to chat with me about a
guy, celebrity or not, whom we both like. Some have more energy giving me
dagger looks when they find out I like the same person they like. This
considering the fact that the object of our tug-of war is too busy engaging
with celebrities and dealing with paparazzis. Talk about lunatic spoilsports.
Very much unlike one good person I am lucky to have met. Her name is Monica.
The thing is we both adore Jude Law. She "spotted" him first in the movie
'Music From Another Room' (I think), I only noticed him in 'The Talented Mr.
Ripley'. However, it doesn't matter at all as to who discovered his charm
first. In the first place, Jude Law is a married man (Lucky Sadie!) so I guess
you can say we don't stand a chance with him. Second, he is a sophisticated
British actor and we are mere star-strucked fans. But that is one similarity
Monica and I are glad to share. Of course, there's no written agreement with
our signatures on it that we will share Jude Law. However, it is the generous
things she does that lets me know she is no 'enemy' as far as "our man" is
concerned.

There was one weekend when I paged her asking what is the title of the Jude
Law film that will be shown on Cinemax the coming month and to my surprise she
actually told me to give her a call and from our phone conversation not only
did she tell me the title of the movie but also what the movie was about. And
is if here kindness wasn't enough, she said she'll e-mail me all the screening
schedule of the movie. She even sent me a scanned picture of Jude Law and
Gretchen Mol. Then, when she found out that there is a slight problem with her
e-mail address, she e-mailed me again asking if I received the Cinemax sched.
she sent. I felt that my grateful heart couldn't take her kindness anymore that
also gave her something. I e-mailed her and sent her an absolutely yummy
picture of Jude Law too. Okay, okay, I don know that what we share isn't
something so 'big' like we are best friends or something. But something tells
me I found a real nice pal in her and that thing we have as little as it may
seem, leaves no room for uncertainty as to the wonderful person that she is. I
am not a psychic or a mind -reader but I am a feeling creature and my instinct
tells me that she is a wonderful, unselfish, low-profiled person. It's just
that some people wouldn't care much about sharing and giving a few minutes of
their time to e-mail a person who they don't know that well, much less
follow-it up and ask her if she got her e-mail. That to me is sign of a person
you can rely on to help you in her own small ways. A Cinemax schedule of the
movie Music From Another Room and a picture of Jude Law might not be such a big
deal to others but to me it is. After all, it is the littlest of things that
make up a whole. Besides, as I am writing this now, I have realized that it
isn't only Jude Law that she willingly shared with me. I still remembered that
instance about a month ago, when I was feeling down, how I shared with her what
was bothering me. I never thought she'd reply to me and would give me her
insight on my situation but she did and I felt better just knowing there was
somebody who somehow understood what I was feeling right at that moment .I
would be willing to go through the same confusion that the problem I confided
her caused me if it means having to experience her compassion again.

At a time like this when some people find it hard to even say hi as if
everything about them is so priceless, you'd know why Monica and her act of
kindness means so much to me. The way to self-actualization and inner peace
isn't as easy as it seems so it is a blessing to have a fun, kind-hearted
person like Monica to befriend. She is surely one of the people I've met that
makes my journey through life worthwhile. She, and of course, Jude Law.

2003-04-27T01:33:00.000+08:00

If I were a Neopet... I'd be a Kacheek!

Kacheeks are a shy little species that live in the lush meadows of Neopia.

They will avoid violence whenever possible and love to make new friends.
Which Neopet are you? Click here to find out!

2003-04-23T13:35:00.000+08:00
The Lana Langs In History

When Smallville started on television, the first thing that came to mind was, "Where is Lois Lane?" Watching those Superman movies in the 80's ( I was a young girl then), I knew no other lady in the life of the blue and red suit-clad hero (with a cape to boot) called Superman other than the queen of the Daily Planet. So, when I saw Lana Lang on t.v., I thought the people behind the show just thought of putting in a twist in the form of another sweetheart that also has the initials L.L. But upon further research, I found out that there was indeed a Lana Lang in Clark Kent's life way backwhen he was still learning how to deal with his powers in Smallville. And guess what, Anette 'O Toole ( playing Clark's mom in the tv show), was once a Lana Lang herself. That was in Superman III.
Here she was back then .
Aint she pretty? I think she is.

Here are the other Lana Langs.

The Lana on the left most part is a comic book Lana. The next one is Bunny Henning from an old Superboy television series. The next one's from Filmation's Superboy cartoon of the 1960's. To her right is, of course, Anette 'O Toole. In Superman III, Annette O'Toole took up the part as a divorced, discontented single mom. Next to Anette is Emily Procter who guested as Lana in the third season of Lois & Clark ( the one with Teri Hatcher and Dean Cain). Beside her is the current animated Lana in the Last Son of Krypton.Though not the model student her predecessors were, this girl is still smart, sassy and supportive of her Clark. That's all that matters, right?
And next is Stacy Haiduk, who played Lana in the Superboy televison series. And next to her, of course , ( like I need to introduce her) is Kristin Kreuk. I think she's the only one who isn't a redhead at all.

Anyway, I find Lana to be an interesting character because, for one thing, she didn't end up with Clark Kent. I mean, I was just curious as to what happened. And upon finding out more about her, I have realized Lana's a funny lady who was a pain in Superman's behind.
In Filmation's Superboy cartoon of the 1960's, there was an instance when she innocently made costume jewelry out of kryptonite chunks for Clark. Despite that, Lana is said to have been very supportive of Superman's secret identity . Yup, I believe she found out about it. If you watch Smallville, you know how suspicious Lana is of Clark.

So there, that's the other L.L in Superman's life. For more information, just check out
Vartox's Lana Lang Page.

2003-01-25T11:32:00.000+08:00
Yummy Cook-out In Fabby Little Italy

Yippee! I have just been to Italy (and boy do I know how to rhyme? you know-Yippee and Italy). Well, at least there was a feel of Italy to it and it wasn?t because I was surrounded by Bocelli, pepperonis or goosegog paparazzis that sneak upon celebrities, welcome or not. Rather, it was because we went to the house of a family friend that made me feel as if I stepped into a romantic scenery filled with the most beautiful palaces and museums of Italy (oh well, partly I am just being carried away). And had a cookout at their patio (well, we dined-out but the cooking was done inside their house).
Anyway, they sserved a choice between fish and beef (on a sizzling plate) for the main course and a choice between turon (with jackfruit inside and sesame seeds on the sugar syrup on the wrappings) and a refrigerator cake that
Vikkicar calls Peach Float and what Cielo calls Fruits Galore only this one had mangoes and no peach halves or fruit cocktails. As for the drinks, we had fresh dalandan juice (and not the canned ones) and also an orange ?flavored alcoholic drink in a wine bottle that tasted like, well, freshly-squeezed orange juice.

And then there was the ambience. It looked like a little Italian garden under the night sky?filled with greens and flowers and made even cozier by the cool night breeze that one can feel in the city air these past few days. If one would close his eyes (and it would help as a number of steps to the right of their patio there were clotheslines) one would he is in Italy (or what it would probably feel like to be in there) As for the interior of their house, it is spic and span. It is quite small but their decors are well arranged and well coordinated. And my favorite part of their house is this huge window beneath it is a nook with throw pillows. The view is like out of a Hallmark card shot in a house in the U.S or England or any country where it snows. On a cold, winter night, one can imagine himself sitting there, watching the snow as it falls to the ground that is bathed with beautiful Christmas lights. Of course, it doesn?t snow here in the Philippines but if it does, I would certainly love to have a window like that in our house.

I have heard so much about that house from my Mom and thought it wasn?t exactly how I pictured it in my mind, the house proved to be as fabby as how it was described to me. Maybe, this just goes to show that sometimes good things do come in small packages. Take for example a wedding ring. Or a car key. Or a hobbit like Elijah Wood (I don?t know why but I still cannot take his hobbitness out of my mind). Another clich? for this is ? Size doesn?t matter? (although some people might contradict me on this one and say that size does matter. Oh well?.phooey!)

Really, if I would talk about how pretty and nice a house is, it is also because I like the people there. Can one honestly say to person he dislikes ? Oh I love your house?? It?s like saying, ? Hey, you have such good taste!?
Maybe, I might actually like the style of someone I don?t like but would I be nice enough to come right out and say such compliments to him or her? Maybe I would be, but there is no guarantee to that. After all, will I even be invited to his house? I don?t think so.
If I would expect a cake from somebody I am not on friendly terms with, I would just be setting myself up for disappointment. Of course this is all hypothetical?just for the sake of thinking to myself.

Anyway, just take this in mind, yummy cook-outs are done by real friends alone and the beauty of fabby little Italy (or Little France, or Little England or?oh you get the point) can only be felt and seen right smack in their home.

2002-12-24T13:25:00.000+08:00
NOW THAT I HAVE YOU
The Company

All my life it seemed
That something had been missing
I didn't know what to do
Days would pass me by
Each as lonely as the other
Until I met you

REFRAIN:
You opened the door
And let the sunshine in
My life will never be the same again

CHORUS:
Now that I have you
Everything just seems so right
Now that I have you I'm alive
You are the song that I'll be
Singing my whole life through
I'm living in a brighter world
Now that I have you

Looking ahead I see
The two of us together
I'll never let you go
You're so dear to me
And it isn't any wonder
Why I love you so

REFRAIN:
You opened the door
And let the sunshine in
My life will never be the same again

CHORUS:
Now that I have you
Everything just seems so right
Now that I have you I'm alive
You are the song that I'll be
Singing my whole life through
I'm living in a brighter world
Now that I have you

BRIDGE:
I feel this love is real
I see it in your eyes
You take my hand and I understand
You are mine
You are mine

CHORUS:
Now that I have you
Everything just seems so right
Now that I have you I'm alive
You are the song that I'll be
Singing my whole life through
I'm living in a brighter world
Now that I have you

2002-12-21T10:37:00.000+08:00
THE SOLE SURVIVOR

COngratulations Brian Heidick for outwitting, outplaying , and outlasting all the other fellas at Survivor Thailand. I knew you'd make it.

2002-12-21T10:32:00.000+08:00
THE AMAZING Z

Go Flo and Zach! Congratulations !

Love ya, Z! You kept your composure and have managed to lift up Flo's spirit, in the process almost single-handedly ensuring the success of your team.

2002-11-13T23:51:00.000+08:00
Mirror Images...well, sort of =)

The first pair is made up of Alicia Silverstone, of Clueless and Blast From The Past fame and Meg Ryan of You've Got Mail, Sleepless In Seattle and so many others.

THe next pair is made up of .....
Adam Sandler and Jason Biggs

The next pair on my list of look-alikes is made up of
Chris Klein of the movies American Pie I and II and Elections ( among others!) and
Keanu Reeves of the movies The Matrix, A Walk In The Clouds and many others.

And now, here is my most favorite pair...made up of Sarah Michelle Gellar (of the hit tv series Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the movies Scoobydoo and Cruel Intentions) and then guess who... well, it is none other than the wild child of the hits Sk8er Boi and Complicated (and a fave of mine no matter what others say about her) Avril Lavigne.

2002-11-09T17:48:00.000+08:00
"Why is it that when you love someone so much you can never find the right words to tell them?"

Alan and Tina

The Prue Halliwell Syndrome

Charmed fans surely know Prue Halliwell. And being one of them ( Charmed fans, I mean and not a Halliwell but if I am I would like to be Paige... no wait Phoebe, no wait Piper ) I knew this one side of her ...the side wouldn't say I love you and would rather show it in actions. Not a bad thing, really. But sometimes, we do need to hear those three words being articulated to us. There is just a sweet ring to it ( unless said with the intent of luring someone to bed...so low!) Anyway (and not Hemmingways...Jessica Zafra will hate me if I say that...besides that is really corny! go read Flip so you'll know what I am talking about), I mentioned that side of Prue which I prefer to call the Prue syndrome because I see it in my significant other. Not to be in denial here but I do believe he loves me. As a matter of fact, he has said it a number of times, as well. And as far as showing it to me is concerned , he has shown it pretty well. He is even so patient with me ( at least he tries not to yell at me and is doing good at it) even if I sometimes bitch on him. I mean, let me just tell you that I have seen quite a number of "jerks" to be kinda good at detecting one and I know he is not a jerk ( although he can be silly-funny at times but that is a different thing). So to get to the point, he is a nice guy but as far as saying his feelings, he kinda suck! I don't know ... I suppose he just isn't used to being all mushy...some guys can be like that. Heck, I myself feel uneasy being mushy...especially when there are other people around. Once, inside Sbarro, he spoonfed me (just once and not during the entire meal coz that would be too embarassing) and I remember feeling so shy about it. And I didn't expect that gesture from him.
I guess that's just how he is...not much on expressing his feelings with words. He'd rather surprise me with sweet actions and tokens and gifts which is fine by me. After all, what will I do with shallow words that aren't substantiated with acts and gestures, right? Really, it sounds like a tough thing to deal with nad it sometimes feel that way to me ( Imagine saying I love you and hearing " me too" as a response ...geeesh!) but it only gets that way when I let that tiny (not saying its insignificant) thing to cloud my thoughts and perception of how much my boyfriend really tries to show his affection for me.

2002-09-08T13:30:00.000+08:00
And Just Like That... (spoken in true Carrie Bradshaw fashion) Monday, 9-23-02

Coffee, accesories, and The Emmys...those three words pretty much sums up my what I did yesterday. Why?

Well, let me start with the coffee bit....brewed coffee at that. Coffee being a favorite of mine, I guess it is no surprise that I mention it often. Yesterday, the coffeemaker in the office became up and running once again after months of hiatus. You could just imagine my glee as I came into the office with the sight of a huge can of the Folgers coffee grounds and the new glass container ( the other got broken ) brought by one of our agents. For a while there, we all just had to contend ourselves with 3-in-1 coffee so I immediately took it upon myself to clean the coffeemaker , to open the can of coffee , and to prepare everything for the whole brewing process.

And just like that ( spoken in Carrie Bradshaw fashion), our coffee shop is back!

Now, moving on to the accesories. I go ga-ga over crazy fashion accessories, that I must say. The more unique the design , the better. Last Saturday , I just bought a pair of funky earrings at CMG located at The Podium. It is that funky that my Mom told me not to wear it to the office. But I guess, I can pull away with it given the right attitude (what attitude, though, I have no idea). Anyway, this afternoon, one of our top agents brought a whole bunch of accessories. One of her clients is in the business of selling accesories so as a favor to her client, she agreed to sell some of the stuff to us. The accesori-hlic that I am, I bought a bracelet and a pair made up of another bracelet and a matching necklace. My my, am I spending a lot these past few days or what? I know I really need and wnat to save but seeing those array of beads and stones of different shapes and sizes right before my very eyes really tempted me. And just like that (again spoken in Carrie Bradshaw fashion) , my resolve to be more thrifty went pfft!

And now, moving on to The Emmys (oh the Emmys!) What can I say? It was fun and entertaining to watch. It was worth the hours of watching, of waiting in anticipation of the results, and also of the frustration that one gets if his bets lost. Only on award-ging programs would you see your favorite stars shedding of their boobtube image to reveal who they are... people who aren't that much different from each other ( at least, fashion-wise) Everyone says the same speech ( more or less), every man wears a tuxedo or a coat and tie that seems to be made by just one designer . The men looked like penguins. That is good though coz they aer already endangered , right?( the penguins... not the men), The women, on the otherhand looked like mermaids in their glittery , skin-tight long gowns (except the preggy Cynthia Nixon)

Oh well, pardon me for being bitchy . Actually, I'll let you in on my secret. This is just my attempt to show that I am anti-Hollywood. Just wanted to see if it would work. Did it? I bet I didn't convince you . Heck, I didn't even convince myself .

Minus the speech, I buy Hollywood in all its cheesiness. That is something I will not apologize or be shameful for. I am proud to say I watch FRIENDS and I always want to find out the new hairstyle of each of the cast members. I am always interested in knowing how much Jennifer Ansiton, David Schwimmer, Matt Le Blanc, Lisa Kudrow, Courtney Cox-Arquette, and Matthew Perry will be paid everytime they renew their contract ( if they decide to renew, that is).

I am proud to say I watch Sex and The City and that I see Carrie Bradshaw as in icon . I always want to see what is new in fashion according to the seemingly warped minds of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda. I also ask questions such as...

Are the cast members of the tv series also like the characters that they portray on tv?

Do they really discuss c*ck tales over glasses of Cosmopolitan?

The point is, I buy Hollywood in its glitz, drama, glamour, and craziness. It may be shallow but then everyone has a shallow side that they should be allowed to indulge in, right? Hollywood is my shallowness ( at least one of them) so give it to me.

So to anyone, bring out The Emmys ( and The Oscars and The Grammys) of showbusiness and Hollywood, and just like that
( yes,you guessed it right, spoken in true Carrie Bradshaw fashion) I am as mainstream as Julia Roberts. =)

Fickle-minded me 9-21-02

Once again, I changed the skin for my blog. One moment I like a particluar skin, and the next thing I know, I am sick of it.But now, I resolve to stick to this....really. I absolutely like this. There is so much more that I can do with this , and besides it is tiring to keep on doing so many changes. Most of the time, I don't even know what the heck I am doing. This one is just right. The color is almost the same as the wallpaper in my room...only lighter. I wonder why I didn't notice this before? =) Anyways...

Now I am working on the writing stuff. This is the fun part for me. �

Really glad, relieved, thankful, and oh so cool with this skin.

La la la la! I can sing right now for finding this.

Really fabbity fab! ( thanks to you if you made this skin!)

9-7-02

Have I forgotten what this blog is for ? You see, I haven't posted anything in quite a while. Well, actually, I haven't( though it seems that way). For a while, I just got so focused on improving the aesthetic value of this one, changing skins and all , that I got hooked into it (not thatI had fun!) Prior to this , the skin is used has stars on it. At first, I liked it but later on got sick and tired of the pink colors (no offense meant to the one who made it). I realized I wanted something simpler , so I chose this Vanilla Skin. It really looks yummy.... as yummy as a Mocha Frappuccino or a Caramel Macchiato ( I wonder if someone from Starbucks is reading this and if in the goodness of his or her heart he will give me a my daily coffee fix for mentioning their products. On the otherhand, I might get sick of their products and would later crave for Figaro,or Seattle's Best). Starbucks is okay. But minus all the hype and the notion that Starbucks make teenagers cool and in, and yuppies look like they are out to conquer the world ( with the help of their notebooks to enhance the image) , it is almost just like any other coffee shop. Come to think of it, what makes one a stand-out if he prescribes to the same notion that everybody else does? If one has character, shouldn't he give definition to coffee and not the other way around? Take, for example, the cast of Friends. The guys hang-out at Central Perk very oportuntiy there is. And everytime, they do not bring anything else aside from their humor and stories.Well, of course, they are better-looking than everybody else that usually goes there , but must they be blamed for that?

In highschool, I remember this classmate of mine . Her daily drink during recess is probably one of those powdered juice drinks. Yet ,the way she would hold her canteen, you'd think she's drinking the world's most exquisite wine. There was always a certain flair with the way she would do it, like she was in a commercial of Nescafe.

So what is the point? The point of all this (belive ,me, there is. Just wait for me to get there, please?) is that coffee is a great thing that came to be here on Earth. People like it. For some people, it is a staple morning drink. Bur enjoying coffee doesn't ahev to be drinking from a recycled cup with a logo on it . Its contents doesn't ahve to c0me from beans harvested from some far-off mountain.
It is your taste buds that will tell you which is really good. Thus, making your own coffee concoction is still the way to go

Of course, free Starbucks coffee for a year is still welcome... just to make it clear.

2002-08-16T20:18:00.000+08:00
STRAIGHT AND REBONDED

I have been hearing about this rebonding thing that is invading curly tops like mine ( the Tripod , specifically Monica, even started calling me Mommy Curly Tops) so I thought of trying it out last Wednesday night. It cost me P 3,000 bucks and it would have cost me even more if I didn't allow Levi of Bambi Fuentes (naks! feeling celebrity) to cut it short. As he cut it in one cutting (huh?), I felt this pang inside of me. It took a year or so for me to grow my hair that long ( it's length was already past my shoulders). But I really wanted to go with that rebonding thing. When I would see people on tv who underwent that ironing procedure ( they use this thing that is like an iron), I would always be impressed. Their hair would look so shiny and so soft that I expected the same of my hair. It was a rigorous process. It took 3 hours for Levi to do my hair. Good thing it wa done here at our house coz at least I was able to stand up from time to time and play with my sister-in-law's cellphone. My Mom also had her hair rebonded and it really looked good on her. She now looks so much younger. I even teased her by calling her "nene". As for my hair, well, it also turned out good. However, we asked Levi to redo my hair ( to rebond it a bit more) coz it didn't look as straight as we expected. I guess it was because of the fact that Levi was already sleepy at that time that he attended to my tresses. It was already 8 pm when he started with my hair , and it was 11 pm when he finished with it. At that time, his contact lenses were already drying up and his eyes were droopy which was understandable coz he woke up at 3:30 am that day to go to the church. All in all, it was okay. Quite expensive , yes, and it really took hours to do it. However, I liked what it did to my hair. It was worth it! So if you have the money ( you can save for it, you know) and the curly tops go STRAIGHT AND REBONDED. =) ( ulk! now not only do I sound cheesy but I even sound like an election campaign).

2002-08-13T19:35:00.000+08:00
JOSEPH FIENNES IN INDONESIA

Hi!

It is my first blog entry on my own blog thingy! A friend of mine told me about this and I really think this is interesting so I thought to myself, " Why not give this thing a try?" So pardon me if this sounds boring or uninteresting. I am feeling my way in....like a child on her first day in school. But I am sure this is pretty simple so there shouldn't be any hassles on my part. How hard can it be to express myself in here, right ? (although lately I have been going thru what is called writer's block. I just can't seem to write something according to my satisfaction.) Hopefully, through this, my writing brilliance (?) will come out again. =) In the meantime, I'll just listen and pay attention to my friend's travails in Indonesia . It is an hour later than here in the Philippines. He was sent there coz of his job but he is staying at home today because he is under the weather (poor guy! that's what he gets for teasing me.lol! ) Minutes ago, he was telling me that he just bought catsup in a special expat grocery. Apparently, hot sauce is very much popular in Indonesia and according to him "mayonnaise is a manna from heaven"(it has to be searched for).He said that if Plaza Indonesia runs out of it, he has a problem. I asked him if he hates and he said no, he doesn't. He likes hot sauce but it takes a certain mood to like it ( I agree!) He likes it on tacos, fajitas, pizzas, but not on everything. Now( as I am typing this without his knowledge), he is telling me he met a marketing girl but that it is too bad she is living in with the General Manager of the residence hotel he is staying in. Anyway, enough of my friend. He doesn't even know I am talking about him and if he finds out, well, he'll be flattered. I mean , people say he looks like Joseph Fiennes and he isn't shy to talk about it (lol!) But seriously, he is nice and he is just tongue in cheek about all the compliments he get. He feels uncomfortable when people say he looks like Joseph Fiennes, acts like Robbie Williams when he is kidding around, and like Bobby Donell of The Practice when he is serious. But before you go salivating and asking me to hand him your phone number, let me tell you that the reason why he gets uncomfortable with the above-mentioned compliments is because he believes he is better than all of the guys he is being likened to. Lol! That's my dear friend for you. In all honesty, he is a good guy!
And have I mentioned that I love him? Yeah, do love that guy with his secrets and all. *wink*