I Love you!
From A Walk To Remember
Landon: Can you find this star, right here?
Jamie: Sure. So why am I looking for this star?
Landon: Because I had it named for you. See?
It's official. It's from the International Star Registry.
Jamie: This is wonderful... I love you.
All of Me

Tina/poet/friend/singer/writer/ reader/dreamer/shopaholic/stargazer dancer/singer/crazy/cool/ complicated/lover/nocturnal/ sweet/nanny(to my nephew and niece...sometimes) listener/mallrat/sensual/ coffeeholic/brat
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Encore

Joseph Fiennes In Indonesia
Etched In My Heart
Yummy Cook-out In Fabby Little Italy
Strawberry Banana Split Mcflurry
A Letter To My Boo
Passive Or Active?"
Puddle
Sometimes You Just Know
Just To Sometimes Be Hugged...Err..Just To Be Hugged Sometimes (lol!)
To Speak Thy Name
Wanna-be Photographer
The Trees Series
From Deep Within
Shy Babies
My Inspiration
Weather Pixie

The WeatherPixie

Learn about others

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Crissy
Demented Vixen
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Fides
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Thursday, December 30, 2004

Happy New Year!


Happy New Year to all the people that I love dearly. You know who you guys are! Let's face the coming year together...with hope and joy and a renewed sense of what we can achieve. Let us also continue praying not just for ourselves but also for our brothers and sisters who are in grief and suffering because of the recent calamities and problems that beset them.

Plan your work and work your plan.
Love yourself.
Never say never.
Keep it positive.
Spend more time listening.
Buy something of a bright color and lighten up.
Get out of the red.
Speak up when something is wrong.
Acknowledge the good.
Be solution-oriented.
Take time to appreciate the simple things.
Always examine both sides of the story.
Remember your ancestors.
Nothing in excess.
Take responsibility for what is yours.
Pray.
Say no to anything that does not validate or support who you are or what you aspire to be.
Respect your elders.
Teach the children the truth.
Take time to laugh.
Enjoy life.
Be an example setter.
Think.
Learn to forgive.
Never forget.
Have faith.
Strive for excellence.
Don’t waste time.
Never stop dreaming.
Know you deserve success – dream it, see it, taste it, touch it, live it.
Be your own best friend.
Understand the power of the word – it can cut, crush, soothe, heal, create.
Count your blessings.
Keep your word.
Be in tune with your spirit.
Choose your battles and fight to win the war.
Stand tall.
No one can ride your back unless it is bent.
Give from the heart.
Practice what your preach.
Always journey toward enlightenment.
Get closer to God.
Take pride in yourself.




Moonflower bloomed at 2:25 PM }


Where Nga?


I asked a friend, " where are you? " and his reply was " Dito. "


gee thanks for the reply. hihi!

Moonflower bloomed at 1:51 PM }

Thursday, December 23, 2004

I Believe
~ moonflower ~


Pitter patter little angel's feet
Walking down the well-lit streets
Ahem ahem vocal cords need a bit of tuning
Then go the Christmas carols and the church bells ringing


The whole world's a bundle of frenzy and merry-making
Each house is an eye candy full of lights a twinkling
A mistletoe can make lovers out of friends
Start a kissing game until the day's end.


Gifts are given for young and old
Wrapped in papers of color gold
An affirmation of love is why we give
Thus , with this season I still believe

I believe in Santa Claus and Rudolph with his red nose
I believe the magic and hope they bring to a child as he grows
I believe in yuletide greetings and food a plenty
I believe in giving and sharing to the needy
Most of all I believe in Jesus Christ as the baby born on a manger
the Jesus Christ I know as our brother and our precious saviour.

Moonflower bloomed at 4:20 PM }

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Inexpressible love:


To know that one does not write for the other, to know that these things I am going to write will never cause me to be loved by the one I love, to know that writing compensates for nothing. "

~Roland Barthes


sniff sniff... need I say more on this? tsk tsk... sometimes you just know.

Moonflower bloomed at 4:03 PM }

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Shy Babies

I have 10 carebears and have taken pictures of the four of them ( funshine bear, good luck bear, baby hugs, and friend bear). They are still camera-shy that's why the pictures are the way they are. Funshine bear is the most timid one ( and you'd think that with her sunny disposition she'd be the one raring to have her picture taken.hihi!) :D The other 6 ( baby tugz, do-your-best bear, grumpy bear, love-a-lot bear, harmony bear, and tenderheart bear) even scampered away when they learned I'd be taking pictures of them. lol!

Moonflower bloomed at 1:32 AM }

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

"Couch Commando!"


All systems go! television
It is that time of the night
Ready, fine fingers, and do as you are bid
Press the numbered buttons on the RC

All systems go! microwave
Heat up with all your might
Ready, popcorns,and topple over each other
Race your way to the buttre on the kicthen counter.

All systems go! Budweisers and Heinekens
Fizzle and pop and slosh on the rim of the mugs
Flow aplenty and chill with the ice from the bucket
The party for two is just about to get started.

All systems go! eyes and ears
Hear and see the spectacle unfold on the screen
Sit comfy on the old, leather couch
Be it jack and jill on your tube,or monica and chandler bing


All systems go! dark,still night
Let the crickets chirp near the window pane
Let them watch with what they understand
Let them dance to the couch when it comes squeaking anytime now

All systems go! young lovers on a midnight rendezvous
Your audience of nocturnal creatures have all been waiting
So make your own story, act your romance that beats them all
Dance to the music of your body,respond to the moon's primitive call.

Moonflower bloomed at 4:35 PM }

Wednesday, December 08, 2004


Joie De Vivre


My birthday is coming up a few days from now. And it isn't just about me. I consider it a celebration of the people that has made and is continuously making my life a special one. As you "mature" , you realize it is not justa bout you, that the saying " No man is an island" holds true in your life. And getting sick and being confined in the hospital for the first time in my life a little over two weeks before my birthday makes me realize even more the value of the people in my life. Each birthday, year after year, is worth celebrating with these people.

My childhood friends in the neighborhood- Jaena ( sweetheart... my childhood bestfriend), May ( darling), Ayan ( Honey) , Weng & Kite, Marc, Jerome, Janet... They were the ones that made my childhood fun and memorable. We really had those sweet petnames for each other and they used to call me Love.

Daughters of my mom's officemates- I won't mention their names anymore. When we were still kids, we would sometimes perform in my Mom's office during Christmas parties.

Highschool friends -In school, I was the silent type and I kept to myself but there are a number of people I would like to mention- Cat, Ling, Amy, Grace ( now with a family of her own and is in Seattle, WA. miss her so much!), Maddy, Madelle, Kat, Elea, Tiu etc.

Royal Crusader's Movement Parish Choir-- I will not mention their names anymore coz there is a lot, and quite a number of them also came from the same school I came from. I love them and I miss hanging out with them every Sunday during the 9am mass , and then the practice afterwards.


Liturgical Choir- ( this was in college)- I really had so much fun with them, all the practices, the concerts and performances, the carollings, everyting. 3 of my college buddies ( Nina, Coritz, Ayee) were also a part of the choir and we even sang 1 of the 2 required audition pieces as a quartet. Togerther with Jing, we loved watching movies during ong hours in between classes and I remember us running in the school corridors anumber of times to beat the bell. Thus we would get to our classroom huffing a bit. lol! That's just one of the fun things we did in college. Anyway, back to the choir. Such a wacky bunch with distinct personalities. It was also in this choir when I literally experinced haing my mouth pried open ( i wasn't alone in this) by our instructess, a UP Madrigal. It was fun and such an honor being the choir's Business manager for two years.

Reggie(she's a girl)- my best buddy from my first job. She is such a sweet friend, really fun to be with, open and candid, and she does not let criticisms put her down. I admire her for efforts and concern for her friends and her siblings. We got along so well and we would shop together, go to Starbucks together, goto the ladies' washroom together, and sleep together ( no it is not what you think), and make chika during office hours together. I miss her and I do wish to see her again.I can still drop by her office anyway ( that's where my Mom works, too).

Expedia53 Batch83 of PS
- how can I forget them? I have fond memories of being with them. It was really fun training and working with them, and shopping and going out with them. Though it has been a year ago since I resigned from PS, I still remember them and the times we shared like they were just yesterday.


Christian Rey- I am happy I met this guy. We have not seen each other in person ( not yet) coz he is in the US but I consider him a dear friend. I feel that things have not been so good with us ( a part of it is really my fault... i admit) and I feel so bad whenever I piss him off. He is right that we are going in circles and I can't blame him for feeling tired. I do care about him and I hope to be able to become a better and more deserving friend to him. yes, his opinion matters to me because I know he has a good head on his shoulders. And he is not perfect, I know, but deep down I know he is good. he is caring to those around him...sweet and affectionate. While things are not all roses between us, I consider him as a dear friend. And I hope he feels the same. I thank him for being as patient as he can be... for putting up with me. If he gives up ( i hope he doesn't), I know I can't blame him because all this time he has been extra patient with me. he knows what I truly feel...I know he has heard sorry so many times before so I am not saying it. I'll just do what I can to be a better friend he can be proud of. I hope he will keep the faith coz I still have faith in our friendship. I love yayan ( another name I call him)in so many ways. I hope he does not feel bad about that. He is my sweetbro. I miss hearing him call me sweetsis ...but I understand. I know he has his reasons. I just want him to know I am still the same person he knew back when we first got to talk and I will just be true to myself by saying I hope I will be able to earn being called his sweetsis once again. Not coz I feel forced or that I think it has to be that way. Rather, is because it means something to me.



PP, Litemail, Rushers, Girltalkers, DMC - These are the groups that I have been a part of or is still a part of. I am not an official DMC member but there are a number of them I feel comfortable with. And I am beginning to like the group, in general, more and more. I admit that I have some preconceived notions about this group but I am beginning to see they are not bad ( at least not all! lol!) I have yet to get to know them better.

my Mom- she is my bestfriend, no doubt about that.She's been so caring and when I was in the hospital, she was the one who took care of me. We bicker, we argue, we disagree, but we also get along. Think Gilmore Girls. We are somehow like them. :D
Of course, my Dad and my brothers are also special to me. I love them and I know they don't intend to be mean when they scold or reprimand me. They just care. My dad used to really spank em and my brothers, using belts and sticks to dfiscipline us. And hewas really tough. I remember being chased by him as I run inside our van when I was a kid. It seemed as if he couldn't get enough. And as a kid, I didn't understand why he had to hit me that hard and that much. I admit that till now I wonder how he could have shownso much anger to us. Using the rod to discipline your kids is alright but there are certain limits to that. When you see your kid running , her eys strickern with tears,and she has already accidentally peed in her pants out of pain and fear... Anyway, it is all in the past. My dad does not do that anymore. And he is still my dad and I appreciate him, too.


So there... as I have said I consider my birthday not just my celebration but also a celebration of the people who are a part of my life. My birthday is also about the abundance of love some people have shared and is still sharing with me. Those that I don't get to hang out with anymore...I still remember them with fondness and whatver I have learned from them I carry with me in activities and dealings with other people up to this very day. I am sure there are a lot more people taht deserves to be in this list, and thought I have not mentioned their names doesn't mean they are not included. Looking forward to spending more time with them, and meeting new friends as well.Also looking forward to a longer list of people to celebrate with in the next birthdays to come.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*





The Gifts I Wish To Receive

digicam ( i am "canvassing" right now and asking people for ideas so that when I have eniugh money to buy, I'd make a good choice)

cooking and baking lessons
violin lessons- a friend of mine taught me a bit but I hardly catch him nowadays coz he is very busy with own violin lesoons and his career as a vet. Besides, if I want to learn more, I can't just rely on him.
more carebears( I have 9, so far), more gel pens and colored pens, and more buttons/pins( another collection)

a trip to the US( CA, LV, New England States...basically a state to state trip)
a spa treatment- from head to toe would be nice.

shopping spree ( shoes, bags, clothes, perfume, etc)
my own beach resort and beach house ( I can dream, can't I? hihi!)
okay...okay a boyfriend. It is not a necessity and it is alright not having one but if one will come along I already have an idea of what I want in a guy. Still, when you fall in love who knows who and what kind of guy you will fall for, right?
a romantic date with either ____, ____, ____, or____ .It doesn't mean I am in love with all of them ( no way! lol!) but who knows how it will turn out , right? I happen to find them interesting on various levels and intensity. Admittedly, one of them tops my list! :D Thinking about, it doesn't have to be oh-so-romantic! The most important thing is for me and my date to genuinely have a good time.
good health, long and happy life for me , my family and friends

Moonflower bloomed at 2:06 PM }

Down, But Definitely Not Out



Today is the feast day of the Immaculate Conception. I know that it would do me well to realize what it means. I also know that it would be nice to learn to live an immaculate life, pure and free from the shackles of my past. I have been a "bad" person last year, living a life that I am not proud of. This year, I have realized I cannot go on living that life for it made me unhappy and it was bad for my self-esteem. I am going through my recovery process right now, and I tell you it is not an easy task. I still fall. And last night, with my past coming back to haunt me, it was...I can't even begin to explain what it felt like for me. I wonder why it happened just when I am picking up the pieces. But I have realized I cannot and will not let what happened deter from me keeping the fight. I have gone somewhere with my efforts and I know I still have quite a long way to go to be the person that I want to be. Maybe it happened to challenge me into doing better, conquering my past and facing it. I cannot undo what has been done but the choice is mine to be strong and acknowledge my mistakes as lessons to be learned and carried. Maybe someday I can even share them to other people who might be needing them. Right now, I am scared more of what it will do to my parents and the entire family if they find out. I should have thought of them then before being irresponsible with my ways. I do know that blaming myself will not help me move forward. What is more important now is to pick myself up.

Incidentally, it could also have been my birthday today ( Mom said if I was indeed born on this date I would have been named Concepcion) based on my mom's pregnancy calendar, but I was born a few days after. Still, I would like to take this day as a celebration of what I know I could be, a life that I could lead if I choose to be strong and if I refuse to let anything to distract me out of my aim. It is not easy and boy am I glad I am not alone in taking all of this. I have friends and my family to help me out. I
also know God has never left my side. Still, this is something personal and to fix this means more courage and willingness from me than from anybody else. Nevertheless, I also want to establish a better relationship with those who care for me. I can say my relationship with God has seen better days and the fact that He has not given up on me ( and have even sent good people my way) is something I truly appreciate.


As for the one who has done what he did, I knew it was definitely bad judgement on my part to trust him. I am fixing my life now and is trying to be a better person but it does not mean I am going to trust him again. Or to even pretend to like him. He may have momentarily put me down with what he has done, but I am back up and I won't allow him to keep me out of the good I have started for myself.

Moonflower bloomed at 7:17 AM }

Tuesday, December 07, 2004


I wrote this a few years ago (about two years ago) Last I heard, Marc is already in Singapore, his Pharmacy degree in tow. I kinda miss him and his sisters.




Introduction:

My childhood years are gone, but the memories remain . It is in every
corner of the street we live in till this very day.It is in every
scar from playing patintero and many other games with my playmates.
Most of all, it is in Marc ( born on the month of March ,thus the
spelling). He was my archenemy. Or so it seemed.




"Every Now and Then There's Marc" ( a childhood chronicle)

It had always been boys against girls in our quaint, little street.
As a kid, I would play patintero with our neighbours under the heat
of the summer sun. But the heat between Marc and I were steamier,
almost up the boiling point. But it wasn't the "heat" that adults
would find stimulating...definitely not!It was more like a world war
between two kids! I was a snobbish girl. Marc was a chicken...and a
first class jerk! I didn't know what pleasure he would get from
making me mad but that's what he loved doing...the obnoxious kid that
he was. In patintero, he would always be the man on the first line
and I hated it so much that he would let all the other girls pass by,
while making sure I stay behind. Oh how Ihated him. I would shout at
him at the top of my lungs the entirety of the game.He would just
smile at me gallantly , and I would freak out . And then, in
frustration I would cry. That guy was the first one who ever made me
cry.Yet, I found it weird that when he would sign slumbooks of our
friends, he would always say I am his crush because I am pretty.
Yuck! What a jerk! What guy would endlessly infuriate a girl if he
has a crush on her? I detested him so...his confident grin and the
fact that he stood in the way of me enjoying my chidlhood to the
extreme. But I sort of enjoyed the attention he gave me. .. in a
b*t*hy way. When my playmates and I would do some role-playing, all
the girls would act as sisters and the guys would act as our
suitors. Of course, he was the one I was always paired with. And it
was in those games when I was able to let him buy me a bottle of coke
and nips chocolate.How did it happen? Well, the other girls all got
something from their "suitors" so I made sure he would hear me
whining about how I was the only one who didn't get anything at all.
A few minutes after that, the coke and the nips came in. Oh how I
enjoyed that. I shared the food with my friends and we would laugh at
how suckers the guys were...pampering us and all. It must have been
so mean of us ( especially me) but hey, we were kids! We would also
act out fairy tale stories . One thing I remember up to this day was
when we played Sleeping Beauty. Guess what? I was the princess to be
kissed, he was the prince that would do the kissing. And right here
in our house! Ugh! WEll, the kiss didn't happen, thank God (?!), or I
would have kicked him in the groin where it would really hurt.
Admittedly, though, when the kiss didn't come ( not even on my
cheek), it also made me think for a second that maybe he didn't like
me anymore. Hmmph! Nevertheless, I always found solace in our fights
and endless bickering. Strange enough, I knew that as long as we were
fighting , we were okay.He was a part of my childhood, a reminder of
the good old days Back then,our activities included buying ice
cream from the mamang sorbetero , collecting a certain kind of stone
which we thought were amulets that would make us superheroes, trading
stationeries, and simply spending lazy afternoons in the cozy
sarisari store in our street.If only I knew childhood wasn't meant to
stay, taking away with it Marc's attention, I would have treasured it
even more.


Here's the story of how Marc and my childhood left me, unexpectedly.
My female childhood bestfriend who is older than me by a year, would
always talk about her first crush, Walter Garcia. If elt I should
already have a crush, too , regardless of how young I was ( maybe 8
or 9). So one Saturday , when I chanced upon this chinky-eyed kid on
the junior newscast on channel 9, I made myself believe I had a crush
on him. And I made my other friends believe it ,a s well. Including
Marc. At first I thought it was fun to hear how they would react to
the "new, more adult" me but now I have realized that that was one of
the lamest things I ever did in my life. As soon as word got around
about my crush, things suddenly changed. One morning, as my
bestfriend and I wre taling, another friend of ours ( who happend to
be Marc' sister), started calling my bestfriend, signifying an
intention that she wanted to talk to her. My bestfriend joined her
then and they started talking without asking me to join them. I knew
then that tehre was something wrong and that I was the one talking
about. Why else would send weird glances my way? Why all the secrecy?
Suddenly, I felt so conscious being alone and not being told what the
fuss was about but I tried not to show it to anyone . It didn't take
long, though, for me to find out what they wre talking about.That
very same afternoon, I found out Marc gave a love letter to our
other playmate! And to think he never gave me one before. What a
moron!And to make it worse, when all our other playmates already went
home, the girl he wrote a letter to was still outside and she called
me to join her.Then she started telling me how thrilled she was,
receiving a love letter from him. FRom "my Marc"!It was so sickening
I swear i could vomit! And as Marc himself was still outside at that
time, theyw ould steal glanes and she would be beyond herself ,
giggling! Aaargh! Please! Like I didn't know he liked me so much
he just got so jealous to know I already had a crush. It was jyst
his way of trying to make em jealous too, i know. He was that
transparent, sorry to say! And if he thought that he was able to let
out the green-eyed monster in me, sorry to disappoint him but he
didn't! Not at all! I just hated the fact that he thought his
little , stpid scheme woudl work on me. In his yes, I knew he saw me
as pretty, but he obviously didn't think I was smart enough to see
through his actions. And that was offensive! After that incident, I
cannot say I remember much of Marc. It sort of squished our awareness
of each other .Gone were the days of fighting and irritating the heck
out of each other. Gone ,too, were the days of playing Sleeping
beauty and Prince Charming. Most of all, gone were the Nips and the
Coke.Yet, it didn't matter much to me. I knew both of us had some
growing up to do.And that's exactly what happened.

Of course, we remain neighbours up to this very day. I havemet so
many friends , and have faced many challenges and excitement as I am
sure he also had several of his own. Yet he has never fully left,
that I know now to be true. In place of teh jerk of aboy is a more
mature man. Once , in highschool, I have received a simple card fom
him and his sisters that said , "Thank you ...for making my day
complete, for showing me such special care, fro yourthoughtfulness,
and most specially for your love." They pasted it on a staionery and
I took it to be kept in my wallet. It is still in there
up to this day.

Last year, on a humid afternoon, I was walking down the street to our
hosue when I saw him again after so many years. At first I didn't
know it was him but he really looked familiar. It was the same dark
skin, slightly deep set eyes, and easy smile. Yet , he was wearing an
off-white, short-sleeved barong .Far from what i rememeber him
wearing when we were kids.It took quite a while before it finally
occurred to me who it really was and when it did, i was still left
gaping.Was that really him? Was that the Marc I knew?

There was an instance when my sister-in-law ( she graduated from the
same HS as Marc) mentioned him to us...how he is so smart, always
receiving awards in their school, and winning quiz bees. It gave me a
warm sense of pride for I still remember that once , in his years of
innocence and wonder, he LOOKED my way.He really did.He said nice
things not because he had a n ulterior motive or he was confused. It
was all genuine honesty from a young boy...who was beguiled by my
charms
( hahaha! the nerve of me) After years of not hearing from him, the
fact remains that he was the first person who looked and liked me and
showed his concern...even if it was in his own screwy and childish
way.

And this one I won't forget. Several months ago, my Mom went to a
nearby drugstore to buy medicines for my dad. It turned out Marc is a
resident pharmacist in there . And to my Mom's surprise, when she got
home, she found out that Marc gave her ten extra tablets for free.
When My MOm told me about it over lunch, I felt a lump forming in my
throat and my mouth
started drying up. I had to take a few sips of water just to calm
myself. It was a casual encounter for my Mom and it was probably
just a simple act of kindness from Marc. Yet, for a moment there, it
stirred something inside of me.And it made me think of so many
questions. What if I reacted differently the moment I knew he had a
crsuh on me? What if I felt the same way? What if I didn't pretend to
have a crush on somebody to see his reaction? What if I wasn't a kid
and I had showed him more consideration? Would we be close friends
now and maybe even more than that? It just occured to me that he
might just eb the kind of guy parents would like for their daughter
to marry.
He is smart, intelligent, and courteous. I know I never really had a
crush on him . Not even the tiniest bit. Till now, I can honestly say
I don't have feelings for him. Maybe I never will. Who knows? Who
knows, too when we will keep on having this chance meetings that are
so rare and far in between? And what will happen next if all those
chance meetings are through? But then, do I really need to know the
answers to thsoe questions? I guess not. I am happy enough that every
now and then there is a memory of him and our childhood together.
What matters most is that every now and then there's Marc. And that
in itself makes him special.

Moonflower bloomed at 4:35 PM }

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Ang Corny Pero...




Unfair talaga ang love kung minsan. Nasasaktan ka na niya pero mahal mo pa rin siya. At kahit na it is but natural na sumama ang loob mo sa kanya kung minsan dahil hindi ka pa rin niya gaanong pinapapansin or di sa way na gusto mo, pag naiisip mo na mahal mo pa rin siya at at kailangan niya ng friend nawawala rin ang sama ng loob mo .O di man tuluyan mawala, nangingibabaw pa rin ang pang-unawa mo sa kanya. Mas gusto mo pa rin na iparamdam sa kanya na you care kahit di niya yata yun masyadong nakikita at nararamdaman. Kahit di yata yun tumatama sa kanya. Masakit yun pero di mo pa rin siya matiis. At alam mo baka naman nagkakamali ka ng iniisip. At nalulungkot ka din para sa kanya pag pakiramdam mo malungkot din siya. At eto pa ang totoo eh... di mo makayang magalit sa kanya. Sino ba lolokohin mo, diba? At siya, alam naman niya yan eh. Matigas ang ulo mo... sobra! Di na bago sa iyo ang masabihang tanga...lalo na recently. Iba iba lang sila ng way kung pano sabihin, may dinadaan sa pangaral, may diretsahan. Pero lalo yata ikaw di mapapakali kung magkukunwari ka. Kung subject or activity sa school ang pagpigil sa feelings mo, bumagsak ka na siguro. Oo , ayaw mo din kasi eh. Ayaw mong pagtawanan pero naiisip mo may magagawa ba ang sinumang tatawa sa ginagawa mo para mapasaya ka? Kahit naman bigyan ka nila ng pera mababawasan ba nila ang lungkot pag pinipigil mo nararamdaman mo sa kanya? Basta maramdaman niya lang na importante siya sa iyo at maparamdam mo sa kanya sa kahit anong paraan na andiyan ka para sa kanya. Kasi oo kaya mo naman na mabuhay na wala siya... pero kelangan mo ring tanggapin pag ganun na it will be the kind of life na di na kasing-saya ng dati. Na may kulang na at hahanap-hanapin mo. Kung nabibili nga lang ba ang kaligayahan eh. Kaya nga gusto mo yung maunawaan ka sana niya. Even if di niya kayang maramdaman what you feel para sa kanya, at least wag niya ikakasama ng loob or ikakainis na ganito feelings mo para sa kanya. Wag niya rin sanang pagtawanan. Martyr ba? Wag siya mag-alala dahil kaya mo at sabi MO nga mas malulungkot ka if mapipigilan ka. No one said life is fair, diba? You win some, you lose some. Nakakakot sabihin at mas nakakatakot maramdaman....pero may kahalong saya din. Ang corny pero mahal mo siya.

Moonflower bloomed at 2:15 PM }

Friday, December 03, 2004

Rock Bottom or In Circles?




I wonder, is there really what we call "rock bottom"? Sometimes, don't you get this feeling of being so down that it occurs to you that you couldn't be possibly be more down than you already are? That is until something happens and before you realize it you've hit another all-time low in your life. If that is the case, how then do you pull yourself up? What do you use as a springboard to propel yourself higher? To a certain extent, I believe how high one goes has something to do with one's choice of how he/she will let things affect him or her. I am aware that problems come and we cannot just get rid of them in a snap . Perhaps, though, they sometimes become bigger because we allow them to emotionally weaken us. In my case, though, I don't see it as going down but more like going round in circles. I can't say that circumstances in my life are getting worse. I just have not resolved some issues that are present in my life. I enjoy the spin and the high I get from them, mindless of how they also make me drowsy or how they sent me in an emotional tailspin. And bringing someone along for the ride is crazy, I know. There is fun , and then there's going overboard. My birthday is coming up soon and I wish have enough money to buy the material things that I want but since I don't, I think that breaking bad habits ( to improve myself and my relationships with other people) and acquiring a more positive attitude will be a good gift to give myself.

Moonflower bloomed at 10:27 PM }

By Threes



first, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, a song or an album

then ask me 3 questions, no more, no less.
ask me anything you want.

then go to your journal, copy this same post allowing your friends to ask you anything; say that you stole it from me.


I stole this from Kiko

Moonflower bloomed at 1:51 PM }

The Moon And The Stars



I love going to my brother's house in Antipolo. In there , the stars are brighter and more visible, the moon seems closer. Whenever I go there, I make sure I whisper to the night sky my fervent wishes and thoughts. It has become my friend, my confidante. That is why whenever I go back to our house , I feel a certain pang of loneliness. In here, I feel like the moon and stars are so far again. Nevertheless, I take time to look at them. Whenever I am on my way home from work, I would take pictures of the moon although the result isn't really that amazing for me to keep. I also like it when the moon is full ( or near full) and it creeps up my bedroom window at night. It is so beautiful, its glow just right. We do have binoculars so I am going to get it out of my Mom's closest for some moon and stargazing. It has been on my mind and I look forward to doing just that.

Moonflower bloomed at 1:03 PM }

Thursday, December 02, 2004



Manonica Online


A dear friend of mine celebrated her birthday last November 22. We may not be that close and in the past year ( or two ) have lost touch but my respect and admiration for her has never wavered up to this day. She is somebody truly beautiful inside and out! She is also very warm and caring and you can sense the sincerity in her. She is none other than
Mano. You can also call her Monica or Manonica if you wish.


Vee made a website for her as a birthday present. It is really nice, and there are birthday hollers there from her friends ( ehem! lol!), and her sweetie. The entire site is worth checking out. The first page alone is in itself a beauty to behold. So , go check it out at
Manonica Online. I am a nice (?) person but I will resent it if you won't give it minutes of your time. lol!


You won't regret it coz the site is about a nice person, made by another nice person. *wink*

Moonflower bloomed at 2:20 PM }

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

A Sincere "I'm Sorry"




There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox






to YOU
( you know who you are), I am very sorry for jumping into conclusions. I know you've heard it so many times before from me and this is not an attempt to explain things. I know explanations will only put to waste how sorry I am. It's like trying to justify what I have done when I know I have been wrong in being hasty with my thoughts. So again, I have no explanations. A sincere sorry is all that I am giving. I wouldn't use my blog for this but I believe this situation calls for it.It must be tiring for you to hear it over and over again and I do hope someday that in my own way I will be able to bring a smile to your face, and definitely less of frowns. It may not seem like it but I am working on that because it matters to me to hear you laugh and to feel the smile from your heart. Thank you for still not giving up on me though I know you are close to doing just that. Aside from my family, you are one of the few who has so much patience and reminders for me. You are indeed a family to me. Again, I am sorry. I acknowledge my faults, my lack of trust in you, every weakness that affects our friendship. And I am working my way towards being a better friend to you. It is taking some time but I assure you that in the long run you won't be disappointed in me.




Written On The Australian Sky

And I called up some Aussies for help in getting my point across, and they declared it The National Sorry Day. Friendly people they are.
Even this baby and this little girl felt sorry, too. Been taught well by their folks to be careful not to hurt or make anyone feel bad. And they sure know the value of a sincere "Sorry"

And even this puppy stuffed toy has a sad look on its face.

Moonflower bloomed at 3:22 PM }